Aaaahhh, snow. Cold, wet, white, freakin snow. Mother Nature must be a little mixed up right now because my calendar says its SPRING! You know, days of sunshine, rain, sunshine, new green grass, sunshine, budding trees, sunshine. Unbelievable that the first snow day the school has called is at the end of March. What the heck will April look like? Maybe a couple of blizzards?
I'm just disappointed because Mr. Irony and I were going to celebrate my (belated) birthday by going house hunting. We have found our "perfect" home in a far flung suburb (think 15-20 minute drive into the city) and had a morning appointment to view (and photograph). Mr. Irony is still going and has promised to send me pics. Since I am almost 2 hours from the city it's just plain stupid of me to pack up all 3 kids and attempt to drive through the (still falling) snow. Waaah!
On the bright side I have an extra day to get caught up on those mountains of laundry that seem to continue to grow, even after I think I've scaled them. It's also a good chance to get started on organizing by following this. I think you could safely call me the queen of clutter or maybe organizationally challenged. I'm in love with this blog and bow down to the queen of de-cluttering! She is my organizational idol.
Yesterday was a movie day to celebrate the passing of one more year on this earth. We took in "Horton Hears a Who", and rented "Enchanted", "The Seeker", and "Becoming Jane". Wait for the DVD on "Horton", it was cute but not a must see on the big screen. We were utterly enchanted with "Enchanted" and "The Seeker" was good but the book is so much better ("The Dark is Rising" by Susan Cooper). "Becoming Jane will be the afternoon entertainment here today as I was too sleepy to watch it last night. Anything Jane Austen requires absolute attention in this household.
Happy Snow Day all, even if you're having wonderful sunny weather. (Sigh, I want some too!)
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wait and See: Medical Mysteries?
To my friends who follow this and to all new visitors I apologize for the lack of communication these last few weeks. I thought that life would calm down once I was finished with both my restaurant job and my position as a cheerleading coach. What I hadn't counted on was the immense fatigue that I'm still struggling to overcome and the depression that has set in. I will expand upon that later, I promise, in addition to some (hopefully) entertaining stories about chaperoning 5 teenage cheerleaders at a state basketball tournament.
Tonight I need to talk about my daughter. My oldest, the one most like me, my Anime. Last fall Anime contracted a strep infection that manifested in the skin on her legs. Yes, she had the fever and fatigue that comes with strep, but her legs.......
her legs were monster-movie scary. What started as a small red rash quickly progressed to huge red/purple welts that were hot to touch and caused her intense pain. I had only seen pictures of an infection like that before. Her doctor ruled out MRSA (scary staph infection), treated with antibiotics, and it did get better. But for over a week her legs were painful to touch and it took a good month before the last vestiges of the rash was no longer visible.
Since then she has had constant, persistent pain in her legs. Pain that has made her cry after volleyball practice, pain that has her asking for lots of leg massages. Pain like she has never had to deal with in her 14 years. I know that there are many worse things out there that other people deal with but this is my child and it's hard to watch and not be able to do anything to help. She's taken another course of antibiotics because strep is still present in her system even though she shows no symptoms.
Today we saw a pediatric specialist in the city we will be moving to this summer. This wonderful doctor spent over an hour listening to her and listening to me. We couldn't get any definitive diagnosis yet but he gave me hope that he won't give up on this until we get it figured out. Poor thing, they drew SIX vials of blood today for all of the tests they are running on her. It's scary that there are so many things that her symptoms fit and none of them have actual tests that can be run to just say, "yes, this is what she has". The whole process will have to be based on differential diagnosis, which is where they rule out everything they can in the hopes of narrowing the choices down to what is really wrong. Then there are things that could be wrong but that eventually go away on their own, such as "post-strep arthritis" (never heard of that before). That would be a good thing to have as it does eventually work its way out of your system, but it can take up to two years before it does so.
I have been blessed in that, barring one bad winter in which Actress had three strep infections and was eventually diagnosed with mono, my children have been very healthy. I have never had to experience the worry that goes along with a child dealing with any long lasting illness. I'm learning that the worry can be downright soul-sucking. Especially when you just don't know what you're dealing with. It could be something major and yet it might be something minor that will just take time to work itself out of her system. There's just really no telling at this point. It's time to play "wait & see".
Tonight I need to talk about my daughter. My oldest, the one most like me, my Anime. Last fall Anime contracted a strep infection that manifested in the skin on her legs. Yes, she had the fever and fatigue that comes with strep, but her legs.......
her legs were monster-movie scary. What started as a small red rash quickly progressed to huge red/purple welts that were hot to touch and caused her intense pain. I had only seen pictures of an infection like that before. Her doctor ruled out MRSA (scary staph infection), treated with antibiotics, and it did get better. But for over a week her legs were painful to touch and it took a good month before the last vestiges of the rash was no longer visible.
Since then she has had constant, persistent pain in her legs. Pain that has made her cry after volleyball practice, pain that has her asking for lots of leg massages. Pain like she has never had to deal with in her 14 years. I know that there are many worse things out there that other people deal with but this is my child and it's hard to watch and not be able to do anything to help. She's taken another course of antibiotics because strep is still present in her system even though she shows no symptoms.
Today we saw a pediatric specialist in the city we will be moving to this summer. This wonderful doctor spent over an hour listening to her and listening to me. We couldn't get any definitive diagnosis yet but he gave me hope that he won't give up on this until we get it figured out. Poor thing, they drew SIX vials of blood today for all of the tests they are running on her. It's scary that there are so many things that her symptoms fit and none of them have actual tests that can be run to just say, "yes, this is what she has". The whole process will have to be based on differential diagnosis, which is where they rule out everything they can in the hopes of narrowing the choices down to what is really wrong. Then there are things that could be wrong but that eventually go away on their own, such as "post-strep arthritis" (never heard of that before). That would be a good thing to have as it does eventually work its way out of your system, but it can take up to two years before it does so.
I have been blessed in that, barring one bad winter in which Actress had three strep infections and was eventually diagnosed with mono, my children have been very healthy. I have never had to experience the worry that goes along with a child dealing with any long lasting illness. I'm learning that the worry can be downright soul-sucking. Especially when you just don't know what you're dealing with. It could be something major and yet it might be something minor that will just take time to work itself out of her system. There's just really no telling at this point. It's time to play "wait & see".
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Nothing Left to Draw On
Fried. Exhausted. Overwhelmed.
This week has been hard in the fact that I have nothing left to draw from. My reserves are tapped. Empty. Depleted. Yet I've kept going. And will continue to keep going throughout the next week.
One job ended today. Alas, I am a server no more. My coaching job ends next weekend. My coaching days will then be done for good. If I had any energy left I might feel sad about leaving the restaurant. My serving job was one of the few things I have right now that I knew I was good at. But my kids need me more than we need the extra cash. I've goofed up trying to be everything but have finally realized that I can't. I can't make the income that two parents make, I can't be a mom and a dad to the kids. I can't be everything to everyone. In trying to do so I've become lost, once again.
One more week to get through trying to be everything to everyone. One more week of just trying to get by. Maybe when this next week is over and I get past being sleep deprived I'll be able to look at the sunny-side again.
Thanks be to the higher powers for the almighty cup of coffee because without that caffeine power-up each morning, I highly doubt I could make it through the next six days.
This week has been hard in the fact that I have nothing left to draw from. My reserves are tapped. Empty. Depleted. Yet I've kept going. And will continue to keep going throughout the next week.
One job ended today. Alas, I am a server no more. My coaching job ends next weekend. My coaching days will then be done for good. If I had any energy left I might feel sad about leaving the restaurant. My serving job was one of the few things I have right now that I knew I was good at. But my kids need me more than we need the extra cash. I've goofed up trying to be everything but have finally realized that I can't. I can't make the income that two parents make, I can't be a mom and a dad to the kids. I can't be everything to everyone. In trying to do so I've become lost, once again.
One more week to get through trying to be everything to everyone. One more week of just trying to get by. Maybe when this next week is over and I get past being sleep deprived I'll be able to look at the sunny-side again.
Thanks be to the higher powers for the almighty cup of coffee because without that caffeine power-up each morning, I highly doubt I could make it through the next six days.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Quote of the day
"Vanity, working on a weak mind, produces all kinds of mischief." Mr. Knightly in "Emma" by Jane Austen.
Ruminate on that for a while. How many people do you know that this might apply to?
Ruminate on that for a while. How many people do you know that this might apply to?
Influenza anyone?
Well, I guess it was inevitable. Two of the three children had it, Mr. Irony had it, both of my parents had it, about half the students and teachers at school have had it, why not me? At least I had a flu shot so the symptoms aren't quite as bad. At least the fever finally broke this morning. Now I'm just flat out exhausted with a sinus infection to top it off. Fun!
I canceled all piano lessons for today and seriously doubt that I'll make it to EMT class tonight. I took Anime to the doctor this morning for blood work and that completely wiped me out. She went back to school afterwards and I went back to bed. Screw the housework and laundry today. I'm heading back to bed for another nap.
I canceled all piano lessons for today and seriously doubt that I'll make it to EMT class tonight. I took Anime to the doctor this morning for blood work and that completely wiped me out. She went back to school afterwards and I went back to bed. Screw the housework and laundry today. I'm heading back to bed for another nap.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Something for those relatives you love to hate
Or in my case, someone who I thought was one of my best friends....but in reality turned out to be my worst enemy. You have to check out this post if you've ever had a relative or close friend that you've wanted to tell to f#@k off but never have! Hope you have as much fun choosing which lines you would insert as I did! Thank you Ellie's Mommie for being so creative!
A Knee-jerk Reaction of Negativity
Remember how, as kids, we couldn't wait to grow up and make our own decisions? I hated being told what to do and when to do it. I loved my first few years of being an "adult". But now? Now choices, at least the major ones, can be scary. Now? Now someone tell me what to do!
As I've mentioned in a past post, my choice now is to stay in the off-shoot of education that I'm currently employed in or be daring and try something new as a means of support for the kids and myself. A lovely, insightful reader, Vanessa, left her input for me in this previous post. I found myself reacting to her suggestions with negativity. In the midst of thinking of all the reasons why those suggestions wouldn't work I mentally slapped myself. Here I was doing what those around me do when I suggest new things. That's not how I want to be and that's a big part of what I'm trying to change. It was so easy to get sucked into thinking negatively right off the bat! So thank you Vanessa, for the reminder that this year is supposed to be about change, about letting go of what others think, and about being brave! I went back and looked at her suggestions again, this time thinking "Well, yes, I could do that and yes, that would work also." If all else fails I do have a degree that I can use to fall back on if need be.
There have been at least 4 jobs listed in my current field in the area that we are moving to. It dawned on me this morning that my procrastination in applying for any and all of these positions (the closing date for all is Feb. 29th) is a sign of my lack of desire to go in that direction. It's not that I don't like teaching - I do. But what I do currently and what my degree is in is an off-shoot of education. I tought high school for a year in Oklahoma (under an emergency certification) and thoroughly enjoyed it. There is one way that I can teach high school w/o a teaching degree in the state where I currently reside...teach Family & Consumer Sciences. For some reason this state does not require you to have a degree in FACS in order to teach it at the high school level. Now that is something I could see myself getting into. (Don't laugh, those of you who know me...it's not that I CAN'T cook, it's that I choose not to for the most part. I have the knowledge and can definitely teach it. And you know that when I do cook it's usually pretty good!)
So where am I going with all of this? I"m going somewhere new, a path not yet tread. I am not going to apply for jobs in my current field. It doesn't do me or my kids any good to have me dread going to work or come home tired, drained, and grumpy. They deserve better! I deserve better! Not to mention that it's a disservice to those you work with when you don't feel that you are putting your best foot forward.
What am I going to do? Well, if any jobs open up for a FACS teacher I'll apply for them. Otherwise I'll just keep watching job posting (in everything), and when we get closer to the end of the school year I'll start applying. Anyone know a great resume-writer? It's been over 5 years since I've had to update my resume.
For now I'll just enjoy this cup of Seattle's Best with caramel creamer and continue to think happy (like it says on the sweet little ring I bought from Thea Coughlin. LOVE her jewelry! To see her store click here.)
As I've mentioned in a past post, my choice now is to stay in the off-shoot of education that I'm currently employed in or be daring and try something new as a means of support for the kids and myself. A lovely, insightful reader, Vanessa, left her input for me in this previous post. I found myself reacting to her suggestions with negativity. In the midst of thinking of all the reasons why those suggestions wouldn't work I mentally slapped myself. Here I was doing what those around me do when I suggest new things. That's not how I want to be and that's a big part of what I'm trying to change. It was so easy to get sucked into thinking negatively right off the bat! So thank you Vanessa, for the reminder that this year is supposed to be about change, about letting go of what others think, and about being brave! I went back and looked at her suggestions again, this time thinking "Well, yes, I could do that and yes, that would work also." If all else fails I do have a degree that I can use to fall back on if need be.
There have been at least 4 jobs listed in my current field in the area that we are moving to. It dawned on me this morning that my procrastination in applying for any and all of these positions (the closing date for all is Feb. 29th) is a sign of my lack of desire to go in that direction. It's not that I don't like teaching - I do. But what I do currently and what my degree is in is an off-shoot of education. I tought high school for a year in Oklahoma (under an emergency certification) and thoroughly enjoyed it. There is one way that I can teach high school w/o a teaching degree in the state where I currently reside...teach Family & Consumer Sciences. For some reason this state does not require you to have a degree in FACS in order to teach it at the high school level. Now that is something I could see myself getting into. (Don't laugh, those of you who know me...it's not that I CAN'T cook, it's that I choose not to for the most part. I have the knowledge and can definitely teach it. And you know that when I do cook it's usually pretty good!)
So where am I going with all of this? I"m going somewhere new, a path not yet tread. I am not going to apply for jobs in my current field. It doesn't do me or my kids any good to have me dread going to work or come home tired, drained, and grumpy. They deserve better! I deserve better! Not to mention that it's a disservice to those you work with when you don't feel that you are putting your best foot forward.
What am I going to do? Well, if any jobs open up for a FACS teacher I'll apply for them. Otherwise I'll just keep watching job posting (in everything), and when we get closer to the end of the school year I'll start applying. Anyone know a great resume-writer? It's been over 5 years since I've had to update my resume.
For now I'll just enjoy this cup of Seattle's Best with caramel creamer and continue to think happy (like it says on the sweet little ring I bought from Thea Coughlin. LOVE her jewelry! To see her store click here.)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Some people close to my heart like to enter video competitions, usually those that give you only 48 hours to produce your video. Check out their latest competition video (and first youtube post) here. Be sure to watch for Sophie the wonder-dog! :)
Here is their summary (posted on youtube, I'm not plagiarizing you guys! See, I'm giving you writing credit! :P )
This film was an entry in the 2008 Fischgaard short film project. You have 47 hours to make a film with 3 required elements, and a randomly chosen genre. The elements were: Prop: A for sale sign, Character: Terry Shumaker an educator, and Line: "Get the cotton out of your ears" Our genre was "Tribute/fan film" After much deliberation we settled on trying to tribute March of the Penguins.
Woo hoo! You guys rock! Can't wait to see the next one!
Here is their summary (posted on youtube, I'm not plagiarizing you guys! See, I'm giving you writing credit! :P )
This film was an entry in the 2008 Fischgaard short film project. You have 47 hours to make a film with 3 required elements, and a randomly chosen genre. The elements were: Prop: A for sale sign, Character: Terry Shumaker an educator, and Line: "Get the cotton out of your ears" Our genre was "Tribute/fan film" After much deliberation we settled on trying to tribute March of the Penguins.
Woo hoo! You guys rock! Can't wait to see the next one!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Laugh your pants off!
Need a pick me up? If you share my sense of humor the video that is posted at the following blog will have you laughing out loud. It's been out for a little while so you may have seen it floating around on the web.
http://lattemommy.blogspot.com/2008/02/pee-my-pants.html
Now watch the followup response to this video! Loved it! Totally put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Thanks lattemommy for sharing!
http://www.lattemommy.blogspot.com/
http://lattemommy.blogspot.com/2008/02/pee-my-pants.html
Now watch the followup response to this video! Loved it! Totally put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Thanks lattemommy for sharing!
http://www.lattemommy.blogspot.com/
Monday, February 25, 2008
What to do, what to do.....or improving the quality of life
Stepping back into day to day life is hard for me right now. I want so much to escape our current life that any break away from it makes it harder for me to get through.
We spent part of the weekend at a hotel in the city we are moving to this summer. It was Action's birthday and that is how he wanted to celebrate it. We all enjoyed the time away and the kids had a great time swimming. Granted, Anime was still feeling poorly but she did swim and enjoy herself some. I got to visit with a friend that I haven't seen since last spring and we were visited by some of the kids' cousins and a set of grandparents. Mr Irony and his daughter stopped by for a while but as both of them were feeling the effects of cold and flu season, they did not stay long either.
It was so nice to be away and feel like a "normal" person. Nice to do something that we never get to do anymore. But it was disappointing in a way also. I never got to get in and swim with the kids as we had visitors from the time we got there until around 9pm that night. By that time I was way too tired to go swim. I feel like I missed time with my kids, even though they had fun.
Yes, I am feeling down. Depressed even. Nothing some sunshine and warmth wouldn't fix though.
I visited a friend of the family who is in the hospital in the city we were visiting. His dilemma made me a bit more mindful of why I am unhappy right now. He has been told that his back is unfixable, that he will no longer be able to live alone. This will more than likely mean that they will have to sell their home and move to the city, closer to where his wife works. This means, for him, the loss of most everything that he loves to fill his time with. He is thinking about the quality of life that he will have in the future and how he feels he can't face that. It broke my heart. It also made me think about my grandmother, and how, in the last few years of her life, she really had no quality of life.
It sounds selfish, but it made me think that part of what's missing for me, right now, is quality of life. I am sucked dry by the jobs I hold, leaving very little left to give to anyone around me. This leads me back to what I'm trying to decide. Should I pursue another job in education to provide an income for the couple years that I will be going to school part-time or should I step out and try something different? And if I try something different to support us what the heck am I qualified to do? Could I find a job that pays at least $30,000 that will leave me time for quality of life with the kids? Those around me say suck it up and stay with what I know until I finish school (again), that it might be better in a different school. I've been in several schools over the course of the last ten years and I know that it doesn't matter where I'm at....I dislike what I do. But what else am I qualified to do?! Or qualified to do that pays more than $8-$10 an hour?
Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated because I am just at a stand-still with this decision.
We spent part of the weekend at a hotel in the city we are moving to this summer. It was Action's birthday and that is how he wanted to celebrate it. We all enjoyed the time away and the kids had a great time swimming. Granted, Anime was still feeling poorly but she did swim and enjoy herself some. I got to visit with a friend that I haven't seen since last spring and we were visited by some of the kids' cousins and a set of grandparents. Mr Irony and his daughter stopped by for a while but as both of them were feeling the effects of cold and flu season, they did not stay long either.
It was so nice to be away and feel like a "normal" person. Nice to do something that we never get to do anymore. But it was disappointing in a way also. I never got to get in and swim with the kids as we had visitors from the time we got there until around 9pm that night. By that time I was way too tired to go swim. I feel like I missed time with my kids, even though they had fun.
Yes, I am feeling down. Depressed even. Nothing some sunshine and warmth wouldn't fix though.
I visited a friend of the family who is in the hospital in the city we were visiting. His dilemma made me a bit more mindful of why I am unhappy right now. He has been told that his back is unfixable, that he will no longer be able to live alone. This will more than likely mean that they will have to sell their home and move to the city, closer to where his wife works. This means, for him, the loss of most everything that he loves to fill his time with. He is thinking about the quality of life that he will have in the future and how he feels he can't face that. It broke my heart. It also made me think about my grandmother, and how, in the last few years of her life, she really had no quality of life.
It sounds selfish, but it made me think that part of what's missing for me, right now, is quality of life. I am sucked dry by the jobs I hold, leaving very little left to give to anyone around me. This leads me back to what I'm trying to decide. Should I pursue another job in education to provide an income for the couple years that I will be going to school part-time or should I step out and try something different? And if I try something different to support us what the heck am I qualified to do? Could I find a job that pays at least $30,000 that will leave me time for quality of life with the kids? Those around me say suck it up and stay with what I know until I finish school (again), that it might be better in a different school. I've been in several schools over the course of the last ten years and I know that it doesn't matter where I'm at....I dislike what I do. But what else am I qualified to do?! Or qualified to do that pays more than $8-$10 an hour?
Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated because I am just at a stand-still with this decision.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Footloose
I am an eighties chick. I admit it. I love eighties movies, eighties music, eighties vocabulary (like, totally awesome!), eighties television. I even miss some of the eighties fashion (late eighties, VERY late eighties).
I've fought it. I've denied it. But I'm now admitting it. Anyone who will get up and do the Footloose dance in her living room while watching the "Will and Grace" episode with Kevin Bacon is an eighties junkie. While the fact that I was thrilled to watch "Sweet Sixteen" followed by "The Breakfast Club" on television the other night wasn't quite enough to make me admit my addiction...dancing along with Kevin Bacon opened my eyes and threw my denial out the door. It's scary to admit that many of the "must see" movies I want to share with my children are eighties movies. Hey, even Jay and Silent Bob are closet John Hughes fans. If you don't believe me, watch "Dogma" again and find out just why they were out of Jersey and happened to run into the last Zion. (and yes, Kevin Smith is like... totally awesome!)
Who can forget those eighties classics of "National Lampoon's Vacation" and their holiday sequel "Christmas Vacation"? (A must see in our house every Christmas holiday, by the way) "Pretty in Pink", "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", the ultimate valley classic "Valley Girl". I swooned over John Cusack in "Say Anything" (and still do), avidly watched (and re watched) "Gremlins", "Night of the Comet" (girls just wanna have fun you know, especially when all of earth's population has disappeared and you have all the best department stores to yourself), "The Goonies", "Adventures in Babysitting", "Back to the Future", and wanted to be Baby in "Dirty Dancing". In the eighties Tom Cruise used to be the epitome of cool in "Risky Business" and the oh so wonderful "Top Gun". There are so many more I can't even begin to list them all. Don't even get me started on eighties music!
So there it is.....I've admitted it. I'll even try to embrace it. I'm an eighties girl. And the next time an eighties movie is playing somewhere on television.....I'm so totally there! Like...totally!
I've fought it. I've denied it. But I'm now admitting it. Anyone who will get up and do the Footloose dance in her living room while watching the "Will and Grace" episode with Kevin Bacon is an eighties junkie. While the fact that I was thrilled to watch "Sweet Sixteen" followed by "The Breakfast Club" on television the other night wasn't quite enough to make me admit my addiction...dancing along with Kevin Bacon opened my eyes and threw my denial out the door. It's scary to admit that many of the "must see" movies I want to share with my children are eighties movies. Hey, even Jay and Silent Bob are closet John Hughes fans. If you don't believe me, watch "Dogma" again and find out just why they were out of Jersey and happened to run into the last Zion. (and yes, Kevin Smith is like... totally awesome!)
Who can forget those eighties classics of "National Lampoon's Vacation" and their holiday sequel "Christmas Vacation"? (A must see in our house every Christmas holiday, by the way) "Pretty in Pink", "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", the ultimate valley classic "Valley Girl". I swooned over John Cusack in "Say Anything" (and still do), avidly watched (and re watched) "Gremlins", "Night of the Comet" (girls just wanna have fun you know, especially when all of earth's population has disappeared and you have all the best department stores to yourself), "The Goonies", "Adventures in Babysitting", "Back to the Future", and wanted to be Baby in "Dirty Dancing". In the eighties Tom Cruise used to be the epitome of cool in "Risky Business" and the oh so wonderful "Top Gun". There are so many more I can't even begin to list them all. Don't even get me started on eighties music!
So there it is.....I've admitted it. I'll even try to embrace it. I'm an eighties girl. And the next time an eighties movie is playing somewhere on television.....I'm so totally there! Like...totally!
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