Thursday, August 28, 2008

I'm here, I'm here!

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth! I am still here! Between moving the contents of both my house and Mr. Irony's house, sending one off to college, and getting the other three off to their new schools, it has been just a wee bit crazy around here.

We have internet access now but my computer is not set up as of yet. I promise that as soon as it is I will be back on to fill you in on the craziness of the past two weeks. Has it really been two weeks!? Time does really fly, doesn't it?

Until then, enjoy your java! I'll be back around soon!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Meet "The Procrastinator"

Mr. Irony has asked me several times if I'm excited about the house and moving yet. I was down to the big city on Sunday to get some painting done in the new house and, yes, I was actually starting to feel excited.


I'm completely overwhelmed. What exactly was I thinking when I figured I could get ready for this move by myself?! I pick up the truck tomorrow and I am so not ready. I had planned to be done packing/cleaning by last night so that I could spend today finishing up painting in the new house. Instead I will be here, in our old town, frantically dumping things in boxes. And as if that's not bad enough, I still have paperwork to finish going through back at the school. I usually work well under pressure but my procrastinating has taken on a whole new level right now.

My butt is sore from all of the kicking that I've been giving it this week as penance for procrastinating. To top that all off I forget to call and cancel the cable, internet, and gas bills. To my credit, I did remember yesterday but got nothing but a busy signal with the cable/internet company.

I'll get it all done, one way or another. I'm just feeling fairly frantic right about now.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

One Missed Call

I happened to be around town last weekend and able to go out on two ambulance calls. The first was a routine transfer from the care facility to the hospital. The second was again from the care center to the hospital but, because of the nature of the call, we were met by the ALS (advanced life support) crew from the neighboring hospital. Both were interesting and good safe calls to go on for my first ever ambulance rides as an EMT-B.

The other day I missed the pager going off. I happened to catch the dispatcher saying something about a car accident and my town, sending me running out the door in case it was a multiple casualty situation. I knew I'd missed the ambulance going out so I took the pager with me and headed out to the highway. The local deputy's car went screaming past me so I followed him out of town. By the time we got to the crash site the ambulance was loaded and on its way back through, what we call a "grab and go" situation. Because the crash? Was car versus train. I knew it was only a single patient because dispatch would have called for a second ambulance crew if more than one person had been involved in the crash. I turned around and headed home, knowing that I was not needed. And spent the rest of the day kicking myself for being too slow to be there when my hands were needed.

I went to work at the restaurant that night and heard from friends more info on the crash. It was a lovely young woman that I had the opportunity to meet when I was teaching at her school a couple of years ago. A young woman who is active in her community, a giving personality, and her whole life ahead of her. She was not wearing her seat belt and no one knows exactly why she did not see the train.

And now I am feeling guilty for being glad that I was too slow to catch the call. Because the ambulance did not take her to the hospital. They took her to the funeral home and the county coroner. I have heard that at least one of the EMT's that caught the call was too wrecked emotionally to go to their job that day.

I feel guilty for missing it, yet guilty also for being glad that I did miss it. I don't know how I would have handled the death that occurred. It's hard enough knowing the hole that has been carved in the lives of her family, her boyfriend and his family, and the suffering of the family that she was on her way to see that morning.

I know that I will most likely find out how I will handle death on a call, as I plan to join the ambulance crew in our new town. This missed call, for me, brings to the forefront that small town EMT's more often than not, are answering calls for friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and most scarily, family. How does one handle that? Especially in the instance when the patient of that call does not survive? The loss that this community will feel for this young woman is overwhelming. How does one handle the knowledge that what you could do for that patient wasn't enough? I know that it doesn't matter who caught that call, with the severity of the crash, the chance of survival was slim to none, there was nothing that could be done to save her. My heart is just aching for that woman's family and friends, and for those fellow EMT's who caught the call and the emotions they're dealing with now.

There's no real point to my ramblings right now. It's just where my mind keeps returning to. We all go blithely along our way, living life, making plans, forgetting that we just never know what curve fate it going to throw at us. Go hug your loved ones, tell them that you love them. Marvel at the newness of each day. And drive safely and defensively. My fellow EMT's and I don't want you to be on that call that ends at the funeral home instead of the hospital.

Slan awaillia (sp?) or safe journey.

Serving It Up, Indefinitely?

Wow! Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my previous post! Everyone has such different and interesting jobs. I've loved reading all of your comments.

My gut is telling me to stay out of a school job. It's also telling me to go into waiting tables full time. There are many, many restaurants in our new city. My current bosses have given me a couple places to look into, places where their recommendations will help me secure a position. Next week, I will go in and fill out some applications. Working as a server will allow me some flexibility to be there for my children, more than I have been able to in the past couple of years. It will also allow me to take the time to figure out where I'm at and what I truly want. (Do we ever really figure that out, though?) So, that decision is made. Whew!

We closed on the house on Monday and were able to show it to the kids before I had to fly back to go to work. I am working another six days in a row until my last night and getting ready for a rummage sale on Saturday. That will leave me 4 days to paint in the house, finish up at the school, and finalize all of the packing before moving on Thursday. Surprisingly only Anime had no complaints about the house. Kids. It's hard for me to be as excited as Mr. Irony is right now. I still have so much to wrap up in our old town that I haven't fully wrapped my mind around the excitement of a new home. I have a feeling that once we're down there and I'm working on the house the excitement will burst through.

The kids are registered in their new school. Action is excited because he gets to have a locker as a second grader. Actress is trying to hide excitement about being able to start band as a fifth grader, otherwise she's moping around about everything. Anime is counting down the days until volleyball starts and until she can color her hair. (Yep, you read that correctly. The girl wants to color her hair to be a strawberry blond. It's naturally a deep honey colored blond. But I promised her that if she came up with the money she could do it at the end of the summer.) They're all nervous about being in a new school and making new friends. Poor kids. I changed schools twice as a kid and I do remember how hard those first few weeks are. Action and Actress are very outgoing kids and I doubt that it will take them long to make friends. Anime is more shy and introverted and I worry more about her. I hope that being in volleyball and band will help her to make friends quickly.

I'm, once again, back to running one from thing to the next. At least I know it's only temporary insanity. (I hope!)

I'm switching from my latte to iced tea to beat the heat and humidity for now. Hope you all make time to sit back and enjoy a tall tea yourselves! Make that a tall sweet tea for you southerners! :)