Monday, June 22, 2009

I Just Keep on Sliding

I'm a naughty blogger, I know. I apologize.

Today I'm going back to the doctor to see about seriously upping my depression medicine. I haven't seen any improvement in the last two months and, seriously, I think it's worse than it was two months ago. All I really want to do is sleep. I can't concentrate on any one thing for very long. It's guaranteed that if I sit down to read a chapter in one of my summer courses you will soon find me asleep with the book on my lap. Things don't make sense in my brain and I feel as if I'm just barely keeping it all together.

The only place where I can seem to keep it going is at work. It's like I go into overdrive at the hospital and I'm very organized, on the ball, and able to multi-task.

Hopefully the doctor will agree to more than just a minor increase in the meds because I don't want to go on like this. I want to be productive and have feelings, rather than just always feeling like I don't care.


Its Just Me - Daring to Dream said...

I have been there...depressed, but suprisingly functional at work - but only at work. Otherwise I was sleeping. I lived that way for two years and withdrew from life completely. I was a hermit. I knew I was depressed - but I knew so many people at the doctors office that I was embarrassed to even go there to request help. So I rode out my dark valley. Got samples of depression meds (zoloft), but never took them. Good luck with getting a stronger prescription. Hope the sun comes out for you soon!

Vanessa said...

I'm sorry. I have been struggling lately myself and while on meds, it took a while to kick in and feel more like me. I'm still struggling with other issues I don't feel comfortable writing about online, but slowly I'm getting there. Just hang on, you'll get there too. For a more graphic image of this look here:

miwise said...

I read this post days ago and you've been in my thoughts since. I hope you're feeling better by this time.