Who knew that making a decision could be so FREEING?!

Life has held many changes for me as an adult. Looking back I realize that most of them were not my choice, but rather me simply following Mr. Ex-husband in the quest to be a blind, naive, trusting, ahem... scratch that..... loving, supportive, encouraging wife. Now free of Mr. Ex, it is up to me to make the decisions....a seemingly scary thing for me to accept. With three youngsters looking to me to keep their world revolving securely, making a choice to change things has been an extremely daunting task.

The decision to resign was not done lightly. I'm sure my mother thinks I'm freakin nuts to quit a "safe, secure" educational position. Never mind that fact that I'm sick to my stomach in the morning, struggle to make it through the work day, and am generally unhappy and bitchy the vast majority of the time. This job was something I've known for many years that I didn't want to do and am not good at. However, it provided the family with a much needed main income source that allowed Mr. Ex to follow HIS dreams. Now it's time follow mine. Although first I need to figure out what those dreams are. I've sublimated my dreams and goals for so long that I'm not really sure what it is that I'd like to do. Of course I have my little fantasy of owning (with Mr. Irony) a coffee shop/vegan restaurant in some coastal New England tourist town, in addition to publishing my writing. However, I am sane enough to realize that this dream exists only in Far Far Away Land and won't pay the bills back here in Realityville.

In addition to resigning said position, I have also reached the decision to move to another, larger town. A town that can actually be called a city! A place with all of the amenities that the word city implies! A place where cough syrup can be purchased at 3:30 AM when one of my three wakes up coughing uncontrollably and there is no cough medicine to be found in the medicine cabinet! Oh the joy! A place with after-hours clinics for those sore throats that occur outside clinic hours. A place that has not one, but several Starbucks! (Hang on for a moment while I weep from the joy that wonderful coffee and lattes bring!) Oh to live in an actual city! Granted, the children are not as overjoyed as mom. I don't think they even hit the scale for being underjoyed. Traumatized maybe? Not that they are exceptionally happy here in Rural America, it's the idea of change that upsets them the most. Only Actress has close friends here. Anime is in those horrid junior high years and does not fit with what the other girls around here are in to. Action has yet to find a niche and is somewhat enthusiastic about being in a place where he can actually join a soccer team. There are so many opportunities waiting for them that simply can not be found here in Rural America. Plus it's not like we're moving an extreme distance. The move will entail a relatively short 100 miles from our current place of residence. There will be many extended family members in this city, as well as the oh-so-special Mr. Irony.

Now I'm caught in the "in-between" hang time. It's too early to be looking for a new job, home, etc. At this point I have to continue with the same old thing. I'm counting down the days until March when basketball will be over. Between working both jobs, basketball, and the EMT class it seems that there is rarely ever any time at home.

All of this major decision-making has had an interesting effect on me. I feel FREE! I feel good about these two major life choices. I know it won't be easy, I know there will be many more hurdles to overcome, but...........I feel FREE!! Making the decisions and informing those around me was extremely hard. Okay, the decision was fairly easy, it was the informing part that was exceptionally hard. And granted, I haven't formally announced the move but have set the process so that family members are arriving at that conclusion on their own. (Yes, I'm a wimp).

So back to reality for now. Kids, cleaning, and studying are calling. Happy MLK Day everyone!