Saturday, July 12, 2008

If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother

Well to plunge right in, things are going swimmingly on the house. I can't wait to drive by it next week and see how far they've gotten with replacing the siding, painting the siding, and fixing the deck. I'm just itching to get inside and start painting. Fresh paint just seems to make everything seem newer and nicer. I'd really be love to be able to get someone in to help give it some "Wow" factor, like someone from "Design On a Dime" or "Color Correction" (love Constance ever since her "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" days!)

Things have been just rolling along. It's taken most of the week to get the kids back into their sleep routines since their first weekend with their dad. We had some very grumpy days at the beginning of the week. Hopefully things will be a bit calmer when they come back tomorrow from the second weekend with their dad. A little less drama would be nice.

I had the beginnings of a relationship turn-around with my mom this morning. She stopped by and we visited about the kids, Mr. Ex (she can't even stand to hear his name), our upcoming move, and a little about Mr. Irony. I managed to casually mention that we had decided to buy the house together. She didn't have a meltdown, so that was good. She did seem a little surprised but was very calm. She stated that you never know how things will turn out, as in her opinion, a lot of people marry and stay with someone that they shouldn't, so maybe I would be happier not being married to him. We talked (well, mostly I talked) on my view of marriage at this point. I think it's great for some but not for all. Unfortunately for me, marriage has left me feeling that it is something I would have to think long and hard about attempting again. Marriage for me equals a loss of control over myself and that's not something I'm willing to do again. It's all semantics, I know, but there it is, that's how I feel right now.

Anyway there was no drama, just a nice hour long conversation covering a wide variety of topics. I even got a hug before she left! My mom is not physically demonstrative with anyone but my kids and never has been so that was pretty major. I think we both left the conversation feeling like there is hope that maybe down the road we can be friends of some sort. Mom seems to have had some real growth in how she looks at things and is working towards letting go of the bitterness. Change is good. It's just so hard sometimes to watch these parents of ours grow up! :)

I'm guessing the drama will come from Mr. Ex's family. Judging from previous comments made, it may be a sticking point with them that I'm not a "moral" person/mother by choosing not to marry Mr Irony. When Mr. Ex lived far away it was always about how immoral and lost he'd become and all the bad choices he'd made. Now that he's back, all is forgiven, and he's such a "wonderful" man for stepping up to the plate to be there for his kids and make amends with his family. (Excuse while I go laugh until I cry). Now that he's home, almost everyone in his family has completely forgotten everything they've ever said about him and are tripping over themselves to do everything they can for him and get into his good graces. This speaks volumes about his charm & manipulation abilities, does it not? I'm just glad there's no drama from my family and that my sister and her hubby are positive about my choices. I'm hoping my "second set" of parents will be also (that would be Mr. Ex's father and step-mom, I'm keeping them as part of the divorce settlement).

I'm off to continue with the sorting, tossing, and boxing for the upcoming move. Happy Saturday ya'll!


Shania said...

I'm so glad you and your mom talked. I bet that's a big load off of your mind!

Chele76 said...

I can't even imagine the strength you must have after going through all that crap and then just now sitting back and watching his family act so.... so *ugh*

Glad the conversation went with your Mom. I'm sure it will feel nice knowing that she's dealing with all this well and seems receptive to your thoughts and feelings.

The Modern Gal said...

Your post title made me chuckle.

I'm glad the talk went better than expected.

Vanessa said...

Very glad you and your mom were able to have a positive conversation. Sounds like a huge step forward and progress is wonderful! As for Mr Ex? He sounds like he has charm/manipulation down to a T. Good for you for seeing through his BS. Sad that his family is so easily led by him.

Frogdancer said...

Oooo, renovations.... They're great, but even better when you're not actually living among all the mess and havoc!
Glad that your Mum and you were able to find some middle ground. Sometimes it's hard for them to let go their old 'tried and tested' ways of thinking and adjust to something new. But they get there in the end, bless 'em!
And the manipulative charm thing? You've got to expect that from his family... he'll always be their little boy. You're a giant step removed from it now, and whichever way you look at it that's a good thing. The difficult thing will be watching the kids come to terms with it as time goes on. You know what I mean. :)

Anonymous said...

Happily living in sin for 19 years. If we hadn't bought stuff together,, we'd still be nowhere... rock on...and don't worry about the outside world..