I happened to be around town last weekend and able to go out on two ambulance calls. The first was a routine transfer from the care facility to the hospital. The second was again from the care center to the hospital but, because of the nature of the call, we were met by the ALS (advanced life support) crew from the neighboring hospital. Both were interesting and good safe calls to go on for my first ever ambulance rides as an EMT-B.
The other day I missed the pager going off. I happened to catch the dispatcher saying something about a car accident and my town, sending me running out the door in case it was a multiple casualty situation. I knew I'd missed the ambulance going out so I took the pager with me and headed out to the highway. The local deputy's car went screaming past me so I followed him out of town. By the time we got to the crash site the ambulance was loaded and on its way back through, what we call a "grab and go" situation. Because the crash? Was car versus train. I knew it was only a single patient because dispatch would have called for a second ambulance crew if more than one person had been involved in the crash. I turned around and headed home, knowing that I was not needed. And spent the rest of the day kicking myself for being too slow to be there when my hands were needed.
I went to work at the restaurant that night and heard from friends more info on the crash. It was a lovely young woman that I had the opportunity to meet when I was teaching at her school a couple of years ago. A young woman who is active in her community, a giving personality, and her whole life ahead of her. She was not wearing her seat belt and no one knows exactly why she did not see the train.
And now I am feeling guilty for being glad that I was too slow to catch the call. Because the ambulance did not take her to the hospital. They took her to the funeral home and the county coroner. I have heard that at least one of the EMT's that caught the call was too wrecked emotionally to go to their job that day.
I feel guilty for missing it, yet guilty also for being glad that I did miss it. I don't know how I would have handled the death that occurred. It's hard enough knowing the hole that has been carved in the lives of her family, her boyfriend and his family, and the suffering of the family that she was on her way to see that morning.
I know that I will most likely find out how I will handle death on a call, as I plan to join the ambulance crew in our new town. This missed call, for me, brings to the forefront that small town EMT's more often than not, are answering calls for friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and most scarily, family. How does one handle that? Especially in the instance when the patient of that call does not survive? The loss that this community will feel for this young woman is overwhelming. How does one handle the knowledge that what you could do for that patient wasn't enough? I know that it doesn't matter who caught that call, with the severity of the crash, the chance of survival was slim to none, there was nothing that could be done to save her. My heart is just aching for that woman's family and friends, and for those fellow EMT's who caught the call and the emotions they're dealing with now.
There's no real point to my ramblings right now. It's just where my mind keeps returning to. We all go blithely along our way, living life, making plans, forgetting that we just never know what curve fate it going to throw at us. Go hug your loved ones, tell them that you love them. Marvel at the newness of each day. And drive safely and defensively. My fellow EMT's and I don't want you to be on that call that ends at the funeral home instead of the hospital.
Slan awaillia (sp?) or safe journey.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Serving It Up, Indefinitely?
Wow! Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my previous post! Everyone has such different and interesting jobs. I've loved reading all of your comments.
My gut is telling me to stay out of a school job. It's also telling me to go into waiting tables full time. There are many, many restaurants in our new city. My current bosses have given me a couple places to look into, places where their recommendations will help me secure a position. Next week, I will go in and fill out some applications. Working as a server will allow me some flexibility to be there for my children, more than I have been able to in the past couple of years. It will also allow me to take the time to figure out where I'm at and what I truly want. (Do we ever really figure that out, though?) So, that decision is made. Whew!
We closed on the house on Monday and were able to show it to the kids before I had to fly back to go to work. I am working another six days in a row until my last night and getting ready for a rummage sale on Saturday. That will leave me 4 days to paint in the house, finish up at the school, and finalize all of the packing before moving on Thursday. Surprisingly only Anime had no complaints about the house. Kids. It's hard for me to be as excited as Mr. Irony is right now. I still have so much to wrap up in our old town that I haven't fully wrapped my mind around the excitement of a new home. I have a feeling that once we're down there and I'm working on the house the excitement will burst through.
The kids are registered in their new school. Action is excited because he gets to have a locker as a second grader. Actress is trying to hide excitement about being able to start band as a fifth grader, otherwise she's moping around about everything. Anime is counting down the days until volleyball starts and until she can color her hair. (Yep, you read that correctly. The girl wants to color her hair to be a strawberry blond. It's naturally a deep honey colored blond. But I promised her that if she came up with the money she could do it at the end of the summer.) They're all nervous about being in a new school and making new friends. Poor kids. I changed schools twice as a kid and I do remember how hard those first few weeks are. Action and Actress are very outgoing kids and I doubt that it will take them long to make friends. Anime is more shy and introverted and I worry more about her. I hope that being in volleyball and band will help her to make friends quickly.
I'm, once again, back to running one from thing to the next. At least I know it's only temporary insanity. (I hope!)
I'm switching from my latte to iced tea to beat the heat and humidity for now. Hope you all make time to sit back and enjoy a tall tea yourselves! Make that a tall sweet tea for you southerners! :)
My gut is telling me to stay out of a school job. It's also telling me to go into waiting tables full time. There are many, many restaurants in our new city. My current bosses have given me a couple places to look into, places where their recommendations will help me secure a position. Next week, I will go in and fill out some applications. Working as a server will allow me some flexibility to be there for my children, more than I have been able to in the past couple of years. It will also allow me to take the time to figure out where I'm at and what I truly want. (Do we ever really figure that out, though?) So, that decision is made. Whew!
We closed on the house on Monday and were able to show it to the kids before I had to fly back to go to work. I am working another six days in a row until my last night and getting ready for a rummage sale on Saturday. That will leave me 4 days to paint in the house, finish up at the school, and finalize all of the packing before moving on Thursday. Surprisingly only Anime had no complaints about the house. Kids. It's hard for me to be as excited as Mr. Irony is right now. I still have so much to wrap up in our old town that I haven't fully wrapped my mind around the excitement of a new home. I have a feeling that once we're down there and I'm working on the house the excitement will burst through.
The kids are registered in their new school. Action is excited because he gets to have a locker as a second grader. Actress is trying to hide excitement about being able to start band as a fifth grader, otherwise she's moping around about everything. Anime is counting down the days until volleyball starts and until she can color her hair. (Yep, you read that correctly. The girl wants to color her hair to be a strawberry blond. It's naturally a deep honey colored blond. But I promised her that if she came up with the money she could do it at the end of the summer.) They're all nervous about being in a new school and making new friends. Poor kids. I changed schools twice as a kid and I do remember how hard those first few weeks are. Action and Actress are very outgoing kids and I doubt that it will take them long to make friends. Anime is more shy and introverted and I worry more about her. I hope that being in volleyball and band will help her to make friends quickly.
I'm, once again, back to running one from thing to the next. At least I know it's only temporary insanity. (I hope!)
I'm switching from my latte to iced tea to beat the heat and humidity for now. Hope you all make time to sit back and enjoy a tall tea yourselves! Make that a tall sweet tea for you southerners! :)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Definitely Serving It Up & Doing Nothing Else
*Life is moving right along here. My manager at the restaurant is gone on vacation this week so I am attempting to fill his shoes by handling the front-of-the-house duties. This will be my 7th day out of 10 in a row down at the restaurant. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I really enjoy being there. However everything else is on hold right now. I have Sunday off and then put in another six nights in a row. August 9th will be my last day and I'm somewhat sad about it. However everything else is on hold right now until this crazy work schedule is finished.
*The kiddos spent the weekend with their dad and have been at my parent's most of the week. On Friday Anime and Action will go to their dad's again. Actress will stay home as she has a softball tourney this weekend. I've hardly seen them lately.
*The house is a wreck. It looks like several mini-tornadoes hit it.
*The car is fixed. Yeah! I had to have the drive train? drive shaft? whatever, replaced. Luckily there were still 5000 miles left on the warranty.
*The kids leave in two weeks for a vacation with my parents. They are going to the Black Hills in South Dakota. I'd love to go with them but there's just too much to be done right now.
*We close on the house on MONDAY! OMG!
*I pick up the moving truck two weeks from tomorrow. Two weeks. Wow. Two weeks. Where did the whole summer go?!
*I have one paycheck left from my school job. I have to find a job. But what kind of job?
So dear readers, here's the question for you? What do you do? What would you like to do? I have a chance to change careers/jobs, whatever, and I don't know what direction to take. Give me your suggestions please! Delurk, you twenty-some subscribers that are there but have not commented, and leave your job ideas! Please!
*The kiddos spent the weekend with their dad and have been at my parent's most of the week. On Friday Anime and Action will go to their dad's again. Actress will stay home as she has a softball tourney this weekend. I've hardly seen them lately.
*The house is a wreck. It looks like several mini-tornadoes hit it.
*The car is fixed. Yeah! I had to have the drive train? drive shaft? whatever, replaced. Luckily there were still 5000 miles left on the warranty.
*The kids leave in two weeks for a vacation with my parents. They are going to the Black Hills in South Dakota. I'd love to go with them but there's just too much to be done right now.
*We close on the house on MONDAY! OMG!
*I pick up the moving truck two weeks from tomorrow. Two weeks. Wow. Two weeks. Where did the whole summer go?!
*I have one paycheck left from my school job. I have to find a job. But what kind of job?
So dear readers, here's the question for you? What do you do? What would you like to do? I have a chance to change careers/jobs, whatever, and I don't know what direction to take. Give me your suggestions please! Delurk, you twenty-some subscribers that are there but have not commented, and leave your job ideas! Please!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
No Drama Mama
Nothing new or earth shattering happening here lately. Whew! I don't know about you guys but I sure could use some quiet time.
Yesterday I took Action and Actress to a neighboring town to check out their newly remodeled swimming pool. They had 2 huge slides, a bigger pool, and a really cool um, I'm not sure what to call it. One of those areas with the things that shoot out water and areas where you could run through the spray, you know, whatever they're called. I honestly can not remember what those areas are called. So, anyway, we swam (even me), the kids did the slides, I read my book. It was just a nice, enjoyable afternoon.
Anime chose to spend the day with her grandmother. They went shopping, had lunch, and also had an enjoyable afternoon.
Today we are off to the big city. I've been non-so-patiently waiting for all the of parts needed to fix my car to arrive. It's only two years old but I'm going in today to have the drive train (shaft?) replaced. Luckily there are still 6000 miles left on the warranty. We'll have the courtesy shuttle drop us off at Barnes and Noble and while away the afternoon with Starbuck's and books. Action and Actress are going with so hopefully the time will pass quickly for them.
Have a great Wednesday!
Yesterday I took Action and Actress to a neighboring town to check out their newly remodeled swimming pool. They had 2 huge slides, a bigger pool, and a really cool um, I'm not sure what to call it. One of those areas with the things that shoot out water and areas where you could run through the spray, you know, whatever they're called. I honestly can not remember what those areas are called. So, anyway, we swam (even me), the kids did the slides, I read my book. It was just a nice, enjoyable afternoon.
Anime chose to spend the day with her grandmother. They went shopping, had lunch, and also had an enjoyable afternoon.
Today we are off to the big city. I've been non-so-patiently waiting for all the of parts needed to fix my car to arrive. It's only two years old but I'm going in today to have the drive train (shaft?) replaced. Luckily there are still 6000 miles left on the warranty. We'll have the courtesy shuttle drop us off at Barnes and Noble and while away the afternoon with Starbuck's and books. Action and Actress are going with so hopefully the time will pass quickly for them.
Have a great Wednesday!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
"I know that it's time for a cool change "
Can you name that song and artist from the title?
I've been browsing quotes for moving trucks today. Then it hit me. This is really happening. We're moving. We're leaving the place that we've called our home base for the last six years. My parents will no longer be just down the road. I won't have a job where I know everyone and am comfortable. I won't know all of the kid's friends and their parents (and aunts and uncles and grandparents, yes it's a REALLY small town). I won't be able to call for a pizza and have them recognize my voice. I know there will be things that are better. I know that. But see? Everything is going to change.
And I'm scared.
So many "what if's" are crowding my brain today. What if this is too hard on the kids? What if they don't make friends? Worse, what if they fall in with the wrong kids? What if Mr. Ex and I really start fighting? What if I can't find a job that will at least pay my bills? What if the kids want to live with their dad? What if Mr. Irony and I can't make it work? What if I fall apart?
I sat down today to also do the paperwork for the January class of nursing school. And realized that, once again, I majorly effed up. I have been strolling along think I had plenty of time, after all the deadline isn't until October 1st, right? Wrong. It's July 1st. Or rather, it WAS July 1st. So, now the start of nursing school is on the back-burner for 12 more months because I was too blond to do the paperwork early. Although it does open up the possibility of getting into the one year accelerated program starting August of 2009. Anyway . . .
Today I have been somewhat paralyzed by the enormity of everything. Everything, EVERYTHING, is going to change in less than one month. The only constant will be the kids and I together. I have to get it together because they need me to be constant, steady . . . basically, their rock. Actress and Action don't remember anywhere but here. Anime remembers, but she's never done very well with change. Right now it all seems too hard, too scary. Sometimes, like right now, I wonder just how the hell I got to where I am. What happened to me that everything fell apart? I used to be such a go-getter. I used to set goals and achieve them. Regularly. Now? Now I'm lucky if I can remember what day it is. Seriously.
I was at W-Mart last week buying a sweatshirt and panicked because I couldn't find my wallet. I'd just had it, I remembered seeing it in my purse. Now when I needed to check out it was gone! I wailed across the check-out aisles to Mr. Irony, almost in tears. He graciously came to my rescue and paid for my silly purchase. As I went to bag the sweatshirt I realized where my wallet was. It was . . . tucked under my arm!!
These kinds of silly, stupid things have been happening more and more over the last few years. I honestly had no clue where that damn wallet had gone. And it was right there under my arm! Can I get any more blond? (And I can say this as I am 100% all natural Swedish/Norwegian blond.)
I have one more paycheck left from my education job and three more weeks of work at the restaurant. I have to find a job. Yet I don't want just a job. I need something that will provide enough for us and leave me with some sense of purpose for working. I don't know what direction to take, what type of job to look for, what I'm suited for.
I have the opportunity to change our lives. Hopefully for the better.
I know that it will all work out. I believe it will. If, it doesn't I'll deal with it. I'll push pass the panic attack and the nerves. I'll find answers to the problems. I have to.
Because I'm their rock and they need me and they're my whole world.
I've been browsing quotes for moving trucks today. Then it hit me. This is really happening. We're moving. We're leaving the place that we've called our home base for the last six years. My parents will no longer be just down the road. I won't have a job where I know everyone and am comfortable. I won't know all of the kid's friends and their parents (and aunts and uncles and grandparents, yes it's a REALLY small town). I won't be able to call for a pizza and have them recognize my voice. I know there will be things that are better. I know that. But see? Everything is going to change.
And I'm scared.
So many "what if's" are crowding my brain today. What if this is too hard on the kids? What if they don't make friends? Worse, what if they fall in with the wrong kids? What if Mr. Ex and I really start fighting? What if I can't find a job that will at least pay my bills? What if the kids want to live with their dad? What if Mr. Irony and I can't make it work? What if I fall apart?
I sat down today to also do the paperwork for the January class of nursing school. And realized that, once again, I majorly effed up. I have been strolling along think I had plenty of time, after all the deadline isn't until October 1st, right? Wrong. It's July 1st. Or rather, it WAS July 1st. So, now the start of nursing school is on the back-burner for 12 more months because I was too blond to do the paperwork early. Although it does open up the possibility of getting into the one year accelerated program starting August of 2009. Anyway . . .
Today I have been somewhat paralyzed by the enormity of everything. Everything, EVERYTHING, is going to change in less than one month. The only constant will be the kids and I together. I have to get it together because they need me to be constant, steady . . . basically, their rock. Actress and Action don't remember anywhere but here. Anime remembers, but she's never done very well with change. Right now it all seems too hard, too scary. Sometimes, like right now, I wonder just how the hell I got to where I am. What happened to me that everything fell apart? I used to be such a go-getter. I used to set goals and achieve them. Regularly. Now? Now I'm lucky if I can remember what day it is. Seriously.
I was at W-Mart last week buying a sweatshirt and panicked because I couldn't find my wallet. I'd just had it, I remembered seeing it in my purse. Now when I needed to check out it was gone! I wailed across the check-out aisles to Mr. Irony, almost in tears. He graciously came to my rescue and paid for my silly purchase. As I went to bag the sweatshirt I realized where my wallet was. It was . . . tucked under my arm!!
These kinds of silly, stupid things have been happening more and more over the last few years. I honestly had no clue where that damn wallet had gone. And it was right there under my arm! Can I get any more blond? (And I can say this as I am 100% all natural Swedish/Norwegian blond.)
I have one more paycheck left from my education job and three more weeks of work at the restaurant. I have to find a job. Yet I don't want just a job. I need something that will provide enough for us and leave me with some sense of purpose for working. I don't know what direction to take, what type of job to look for, what I'm suited for.
I have the opportunity to change our lives. Hopefully for the better.
I know that it will all work out. I believe it will. If, it doesn't I'll deal with it. I'll push pass the panic attack and the nerves. I'll find answers to the problems. I have to.
Because I'm their rock and they need me and they're my whole world.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
A Server's Rant
Dear Restaurant Patron,
I will be your host and server tonight. Before we begin, let me point out that there are certain rules of etiquette that you should observe.
To begin with, if you have more than 5 in your party, make a damn reservation! If you walk in the door with nine people odds are good that I won't be able to seat you any time soon, most especially if the restaurant if nearing capacity. You see, most restaurants don't have tables that seat more than eight (and only a couple of those at that). Most tables seat four. That is standard in just about any restaurant. If we are even somewhat busy I am not going to have two or more tables that are anywhere near each other that can be pulled together to accommodate you. The same goes for any party greater than five. The more people you bring without a reservation, the longer you're going to have to wait to be seated. This is especially true when others are also walking in with large parties and I am running out of places to seat anyone! If you are a table of two to four please understand why I won't seat you at my one (of two) tables for eight. If I put you there odds are good I will have a larger table walk in next and thus have nowhere to seat them. Also, if I say that the empty table is reserved, do not be so rude as to ignore my hostess and simply park your ass there anyway and then get pissy when I ask you to move. That's why we put the "reserved" sign on the table.
That being said, do not be grumpy and rude and insinuate that it is my fault that you could not be seated immediately. You saw the full parking lot when you drove in, you can clearly see that there are no tables available to fit your party and that others are waiting to be seated also. You are the ones who chose not to call ahead for a reservation.
If you have a reservation and decide to bring more people with you than originally anticipated, CALL AHEAD! If your reservation is for four and you show up with five, you're just going to have to suck it up with that extra chair stuck onto the end of the table meant for four. You see, I did my job by picking you a primo table and setting it up for you, per your request. I have no way of knowing that you're bringing someone else and can't switch you to a larger table when we are busy and smack-dab in the middle of a rush. If we are slow I will have no problem switching you to a larger table. Again, I feel you have no right to complain about the lack of elbow-room because you did not adhere to your original request for a table for four.
Do NOT simply sit down at a table that has not been cleared and reset. If you were not my table I will simply assume that you are the original party that was sitting there. It is also extremely rude of you to demand that I stop what I'm doing to come over and clear and reset the table while you stand there waiting impatiently. This is especially irritating when there are clearly other open tables that are clean and reset that you could have sat down at. If it's a weekend and you don't wait for my hostess you may be taking a table that needs to be reset for a reservation. You may also be making it hard for your server if she was just given a couple of new tables by the hostess right before you chose to ignore the hostess and sit at that dirty table. You are immediately setting yourself up for a less than desirable restaurant experience.
If you don't like the taste of the item you ordered, that's just too damn bad. You ordered it. I should not have to ask my manager to strike the item from the bill simply because it did not suit your palate. That's the chance you take when you order something different. I will politely decline to remove said item from your bill, especially when you ate all of the side items and almost a third of the entree while determining if you liked the flavor or not.
Please do not play the game of needing just one more thing when I bring something to your table. It's fine if you decide you'd like another drink, but when each person at your table orders a new drink each time I come back with the previous drink order, you are just creating more work for me and, in my opinion, being rude. When I ask if you'd like another drink, that is the time to decide yes or no. Not after I've just made four trips repeatedly to your table to bring each person a single drink only to be asked by another person for a drink refill. This is especially annoying when there are nine of you and each of you makes me run a drink refill equating nine times in a row that I've had to run a drink to your table.
Please remember that while I strive to make you feel as if you are my only customer, you are not. On a weeknight I am splitting the entire freaking restaurant with one other server. When you see that we have opened the backroom to accommodate the overflow of people and that the two of us are handling approximately 30 tables between us please have a little patience if I can't get to you right away. Please remember that we don't carry a full staff on weeknights because we are not a big city and we are not normally this busy on a Wednesday. Even on a weekend night please remember that you are one of five or six tables that I am serving and while I'll do my best, I may not always be able to get to you right away when you want something.
If something is not to your liking please tell me right away so that I have the opportunity to correct it. If your steak isn't done the way you like and you don't tell me until it's time to pay the bill and you want a discount because of it, there's nothing I can do and you will go away unhappy with your dining experience and I will be pissy because you ate it all and never once told me anything was wrong!
Please remember that I am a person. You may not want to laugh and joke with me and that's all right. We all have different personalities. Do remember though, that there is no need to be snooty and high-handed and treat me like dirt because I work as a server in a restaurant. This may be my full-time job, it may be my extra money. I may actually enjoy and take pride in the work I do. I do not deserve to be treated rudely because I choose to work in a service industry. Yes, I'm not a neurosurgeon but I'm willing to bet neither are you. You are no better or worse than I am and I do not deserve to be treated like trash. If you treat me that way you will not get my best service and I may just find someone to spit in your food (just joking. Or am I?) If you are a regular in our restaurant you will be "black-listed" among the servers and kitchen staff and you will continue to have lower quality service because of your bad behavior. Our manager may not like that but after he's dealt with you a few times he'll back us up. You see, while the goal is that the customer is always right, we do reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and our manager has actually told a few a****les to never darken the doorway of his restaurant again. Our service is great, as is our food, and we will continue to do well without your business.
Last, but not least, even though I agree that the policy of tipping sucks and we should be paid higher wages, tipping is how the industry works. I am working for your tips, not my paycheck (which is laughable and barely covers taxes on the tips I claim). If you're not willing to tip at 15%, at least stick with nothing less than 10%. Almost all of you have cell phones with handy-dandy tip calculators if you can't do the math in your head. You see, I have to claim at least 8% of my sales with the IRS, whether or not I actually made that much in tips. Leaving $2 on a $50 ticket simply because there were only two of you at the table is not cool or nice. Leaving $4 when there were nine of you and your combined tickets totaled $140 and I ran constantly to meet your needs is just plain rude. Don't expect that someone else will leave a tip just because you all paid separately. But I understand because you live around here and everyone knows that you are all a bunch of a**es. Leaving $25 when there were 18 of you and my only table for the night because you sat in the restaurant for 3 freaking hours thus preventing me from turning over any tables in my section on a Friday night is rude and inconsiderate in my opinion. Because of you my manager has now agreed to mandate 15% gratuity on parties of eight or over. We never felt this need to mandate it before you but now we do.
Yes I am complaining and bitching. You see I know that I'm a good server. Heck there are nights when I'm an awesome server! I've been in this industry for 20 years now (off & on) and have waited tables in places from diners to casual restaurants to upscale restaurants. I've watched you restaurant patrons become increasingly ruder and more demanding over those twenty years and I've had it with those of you that ruin the night for me and the tables around you.
The sign on the back door of our restaurant says "Leave all problems at the door. From here on in there is only fun ahead!" The sign on our front door says "Welcome". It does NOT say "Please leave your manners here before entering".
Sincerely,
Your Server
I will be your host and server tonight. Before we begin, let me point out that there are certain rules of etiquette that you should observe.
To begin with, if you have more than 5 in your party, make a damn reservation! If you walk in the door with nine people odds are good that I won't be able to seat you any time soon, most especially if the restaurant if nearing capacity. You see, most restaurants don't have tables that seat more than eight (and only a couple of those at that). Most tables seat four. That is standard in just about any restaurant. If we are even somewhat busy I am not going to have two or more tables that are anywhere near each other that can be pulled together to accommodate you. The same goes for any party greater than five. The more people you bring without a reservation, the longer you're going to have to wait to be seated. This is especially true when others are also walking in with large parties and I am running out of places to seat anyone! If you are a table of two to four please understand why I won't seat you at my one (of two) tables for eight. If I put you there odds are good I will have a larger table walk in next and thus have nowhere to seat them. Also, if I say that the empty table is reserved, do not be so rude as to ignore my hostess and simply park your ass there anyway and then get pissy when I ask you to move. That's why we put the "reserved" sign on the table.
That being said, do not be grumpy and rude and insinuate that it is my fault that you could not be seated immediately. You saw the full parking lot when you drove in, you can clearly see that there are no tables available to fit your party and that others are waiting to be seated also. You are the ones who chose not to call ahead for a reservation.
If you have a reservation and decide to bring more people with you than originally anticipated, CALL AHEAD! If your reservation is for four and you show up with five, you're just going to have to suck it up with that extra chair stuck onto the end of the table meant for four. You see, I did my job by picking you a primo table and setting it up for you, per your request. I have no way of knowing that you're bringing someone else and can't switch you to a larger table when we are busy and smack-dab in the middle of a rush. If we are slow I will have no problem switching you to a larger table. Again, I feel you have no right to complain about the lack of elbow-room because you did not adhere to your original request for a table for four.
Do NOT simply sit down at a table that has not been cleared and reset. If you were not my table I will simply assume that you are the original party that was sitting there. It is also extremely rude of you to demand that I stop what I'm doing to come over and clear and reset the table while you stand there waiting impatiently. This is especially irritating when there are clearly other open tables that are clean and reset that you could have sat down at. If it's a weekend and you don't wait for my hostess you may be taking a table that needs to be reset for a reservation. You may also be making it hard for your server if she was just given a couple of new tables by the hostess right before you chose to ignore the hostess and sit at that dirty table. You are immediately setting yourself up for a less than desirable restaurant experience.
If you don't like the taste of the item you ordered, that's just too damn bad. You ordered it. I should not have to ask my manager to strike the item from the bill simply because it did not suit your palate. That's the chance you take when you order something different. I will politely decline to remove said item from your bill, especially when you ate all of the side items and almost a third of the entree while determining if you liked the flavor or not.
Please do not play the game of needing just one more thing when I bring something to your table. It's fine if you decide you'd like another drink, but when each person at your table orders a new drink each time I come back with the previous drink order, you are just creating more work for me and, in my opinion, being rude. When I ask if you'd like another drink, that is the time to decide yes or no. Not after I've just made four trips repeatedly to your table to bring each person a single drink only to be asked by another person for a drink refill. This is especially annoying when there are nine of you and each of you makes me run a drink refill equating nine times in a row that I've had to run a drink to your table.
Please remember that while I strive to make you feel as if you are my only customer, you are not. On a weeknight I am splitting the entire freaking restaurant with one other server. When you see that we have opened the backroom to accommodate the overflow of people and that the two of us are handling approximately 30 tables between us please have a little patience if I can't get to you right away. Please remember that we don't carry a full staff on weeknights because we are not a big city and we are not normally this busy on a Wednesday. Even on a weekend night please remember that you are one of five or six tables that I am serving and while I'll do my best, I may not always be able to get to you right away when you want something.
If something is not to your liking please tell me right away so that I have the opportunity to correct it. If your steak isn't done the way you like and you don't tell me until it's time to pay the bill and you want a discount because of it, there's nothing I can do and you will go away unhappy with your dining experience and I will be pissy because you ate it all and never once told me anything was wrong!
Please remember that I am a person. You may not want to laugh and joke with me and that's all right. We all have different personalities. Do remember though, that there is no need to be snooty and high-handed and treat me like dirt because I work as a server in a restaurant. This may be my full-time job, it may be my extra money. I may actually enjoy and take pride in the work I do. I do not deserve to be treated rudely because I choose to work in a service industry. Yes, I'm not a neurosurgeon but I'm willing to bet neither are you. You are no better or worse than I am and I do not deserve to be treated like trash. If you treat me that way you will not get my best service and I may just find someone to spit in your food (just joking. Or am I?) If you are a regular in our restaurant you will be "black-listed" among the servers and kitchen staff and you will continue to have lower quality service because of your bad behavior. Our manager may not like that but after he's dealt with you a few times he'll back us up. You see, while the goal is that the customer is always right, we do reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and our manager has actually told a few a****les to never darken the doorway of his restaurant again. Our service is great, as is our food, and we will continue to do well without your business.
Last, but not least, even though I agree that the policy of tipping sucks and we should be paid higher wages, tipping is how the industry works. I am working for your tips, not my paycheck (which is laughable and barely covers taxes on the tips I claim). If you're not willing to tip at 15%, at least stick with nothing less than 10%. Almost all of you have cell phones with handy-dandy tip calculators if you can't do the math in your head. You see, I have to claim at least 8% of my sales with the IRS, whether or not I actually made that much in tips. Leaving $2 on a $50 ticket simply because there were only two of you at the table is not cool or nice. Leaving $4 when there were nine of you and your combined tickets totaled $140 and I ran constantly to meet your needs is just plain rude. Don't expect that someone else will leave a tip just because you all paid separately. But I understand because you live around here and everyone knows that you are all a bunch of a**es. Leaving $25 when there were 18 of you and my only table for the night because you sat in the restaurant for 3 freaking hours thus preventing me from turning over any tables in my section on a Friday night is rude and inconsiderate in my opinion. Because of you my manager has now agreed to mandate 15% gratuity on parties of eight or over. We never felt this need to mandate it before you but now we do.
Yes I am complaining and bitching. You see I know that I'm a good server. Heck there are nights when I'm an awesome server! I've been in this industry for 20 years now (off & on) and have waited tables in places from diners to casual restaurants to upscale restaurants. I've watched you restaurant patrons become increasingly ruder and more demanding over those twenty years and I've had it with those of you that ruin the night for me and the tables around you.
The sign on the back door of our restaurant says "Leave all problems at the door. From here on in there is only fun ahead!" The sign on our front door says "Welcome". It does NOT say "Please leave your manners here before entering".
Sincerely,
Your Server
Saturday, July 12, 2008
If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
Well to plunge right in, things are going swimmingly on the house. I can't wait to drive by it next week and see how far they've gotten with replacing the siding, painting the siding, and fixing the deck. I'm just itching to get inside and start painting. Fresh paint just seems to make everything seem newer and nicer. I'd really be love to be able to get someone in to help give it some "Wow" factor, like someone from "Design On a Dime" or "Color Correction" (love Constance ever since her "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" days!)
Things have been just rolling along. It's taken most of the week to get the kids back into their sleep routines since their first weekend with their dad. We had some very grumpy days at the beginning of the week. Hopefully things will be a bit calmer when they come back tomorrow from the second weekend with their dad. A little less drama would be nice.
I had the beginnings of a relationship turn-around with my mom this morning. She stopped by and we visited about the kids, Mr. Ex (she can't even stand to hear his name), our upcoming move, and a little about Mr. Irony. I managed to casually mention that we had decided to buy the house together. She didn't have a meltdown, so that was good. She did seem a little surprised but was very calm. She stated that you never know how things will turn out, as in her opinion, a lot of people marry and stay with someone that they shouldn't, so maybe I would be happier not being married to him. We talked (well, mostly I talked) on my view of marriage at this point. I think it's great for some but not for all. Unfortunately for me, marriage has left me feeling that it is something I would have to think long and hard about attempting again. Marriage for me equals a loss of control over myself and that's not something I'm willing to do again. It's all semantics, I know, but there it is, that's how I feel right now.
Anyway there was no drama, just a nice hour long conversation covering a wide variety of topics. I even got a hug before she left! My mom is not physically demonstrative with anyone but my kids and never has been so that was pretty major. I think we both left the conversation feeling like there is hope that maybe down the road we can be friends of some sort. Mom seems to have had some real growth in how she looks at things and is working towards letting go of the bitterness. Change is good. It's just so hard sometimes to watch these parents of ours grow up! :)
I'm guessing the drama will come from Mr. Ex's family. Judging from previous comments made, it may be a sticking point with them that I'm not a "moral" person/mother by choosing not to marry Mr Irony. When Mr. Ex lived far away it was always about how immoral and lost he'd become and all the bad choices he'd made. Now that he's back, all is forgiven, and he's such a "wonderful" man for stepping up to the plate to be there for his kids and make amends with his family. (Excuse while I go laugh until I cry). Now that he's home, almost everyone in his family has completely forgotten everything they've ever said about him and are tripping over themselves to do everything they can for him and get into his good graces. This speaks volumes about his charm & manipulation abilities, does it not? I'm just glad there's no drama from my family and that my sister and her hubby are positive about my choices. I'm hoping my "second set" of parents will be also (that would be Mr. Ex's father and step-mom, I'm keeping them as part of the divorce settlement).
I'm off to continue with the sorting, tossing, and boxing for the upcoming move. Happy Saturday ya'll!
Things have been just rolling along. It's taken most of the week to get the kids back into their sleep routines since their first weekend with their dad. We had some very grumpy days at the beginning of the week. Hopefully things will be a bit calmer when they come back tomorrow from the second weekend with their dad. A little less drama would be nice.
I had the beginnings of a relationship turn-around with my mom this morning. She stopped by and we visited about the kids, Mr. Ex (she can't even stand to hear his name), our upcoming move, and a little about Mr. Irony. I managed to casually mention that we had decided to buy the house together. She didn't have a meltdown, so that was good. She did seem a little surprised but was very calm. She stated that you never know how things will turn out, as in her opinion, a lot of people marry and stay with someone that they shouldn't, so maybe I would be happier not being married to him. We talked (well, mostly I talked) on my view of marriage at this point. I think it's great for some but not for all. Unfortunately for me, marriage has left me feeling that it is something I would have to think long and hard about attempting again. Marriage for me equals a loss of control over myself and that's not something I'm willing to do again. It's all semantics, I know, but there it is, that's how I feel right now.
Anyway there was no drama, just a nice hour long conversation covering a wide variety of topics. I even got a hug before she left! My mom is not physically demonstrative with anyone but my kids and never has been so that was pretty major. I think we both left the conversation feeling like there is hope that maybe down the road we can be friends of some sort. Mom seems to have had some real growth in how she looks at things and is working towards letting go of the bitterness. Change is good. It's just so hard sometimes to watch these parents of ours grow up! :)
I'm guessing the drama will come from Mr. Ex's family. Judging from previous comments made, it may be a sticking point with them that I'm not a "moral" person/mother by choosing not to marry Mr Irony. When Mr. Ex lived far away it was always about how immoral and lost he'd become and all the bad choices he'd made. Now that he's back, all is forgiven, and he's such a "wonderful" man for stepping up to the plate to be there for his kids and make amends with his family. (Excuse while I go laugh until I cry). Now that he's home, almost everyone in his family has completely forgotten everything they've ever said about him and are tripping over themselves to do everything they can for him and get into his good graces. This speaks volumes about his charm & manipulation abilities, does it not? I'm just glad there's no drama from my family and that my sister and her hubby are positive about my choices. I'm hoping my "second set" of parents will be also (that would be Mr. Ex's father and step-mom, I'm keeping them as part of the divorce settlement).
I'm off to continue with the sorting, tossing, and boxing for the upcoming move. Happy Saturday ya'll!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
This Housing Update Brought To You By . . .
One would think that with it being summer vacation and me only working one part-time job right now that I'd be posting regularly, wouldn't one? Guess not. This summer has been crazy and is flying right by! I mean, it's July 9th already!
So. I would imagine some of you are wondering what's been happening with the house. Well . . . everything's good! I've been leery of posting anything for fear of messing up the good vibes or ju-ju or whatever that's been happening with this house. The appraisal was done last Thursday and the inspection on Friday. We received both reports by Monday. The house appraised at $2000 above our purchase price. Yeah! Nothing was noted that we didn't already know and have plans to fix so that was all good. The inspection did point out some things that we will do down the road, such as sheetrock the garage to provide a firewall between the house and the garage. We will also need to get up and cut out vents in the soffits for ventilation in the attic. The inspection did find that the motor in the furnace is not working but the seller agreed to take care of that and also to spray for the carpenter ants that were found living under the sun-room (and he put it in writing too!) But, all in all, everything is good and the contractor has a "go" to begin work! Yeah! The only other paperwork needed is a letter from the contractor to the bank stating that the roof is in good condition (only 6 years old but several of the shingles are not sealed down, a project we will tackle in August or September).
Now the packing begins in earnest. I let my landlord know that I will most definitely be moved out by August 20th. I also offered to post signs, ads, and show the house for her in order to get it sold. (I only asked to be compensated 1% of the selling price. Hey, I'm not that nice that I'd do all that work for free.) We've begun touring the local home improvement stores to see what's available for flooring, fencing, all of that fun stuff. Did you know that there's now a compound that you simply mix with water and pour onto your concrete floor and it will self-level said concrete floor? Too cool! We have an entire basement (ground floor? not sure what to call it as it opens up into the back yard) that is all concrete flooring that will need to be leveled so that we can install flooring without having to build a sub-floor. (Could I possibly use the word floor or derivatives thereof any more in that last sentence? Ha!)
We are doing the happy house dance around here. I can't wait to get to the point where I can get in and start painting! On the down side, I still have not told any family (other than my sister & Mr. Ex) that Mr. Irony and I are making this a joint venture. Yes, go ahead, say it. I'm a CHICKEN! At least my 20-year old niece has somewhat paved the way for me. She announced last week that since none of her girl-friends were able to move out and into an apartment with her just yet (she's been living at home since college got out last May); she is moving in with her boyfriend and a mutual guy friend. Oh my, my, my...the arguments that this little statement brought about. None of that side of the family is happy AT ALL! Except me and possibly my sis. Not that we're happy about it but we're proud of her for standing up for what she wants. My thoughts are that if she lives with boyfriend for a while she will realize that there are plenty more fish in the sea. Call me crazy but I'm kind of at the point where it may be better living together first so that if it doesn't work out you don't have the whole entire mess of divorce to go through. Yep, not politically correct I know but that's me. Anyway, she has my support because the kid needs someone in the family to lean on. (And since she went first I will not be known as the "evil" aunt who is leading her niece down a path of moral-decay for living in sin. Ha!)
Hope everyone had a good 4th of July (or 1st of July for our neighboring Canadians). I'll post more later on today and am hoping to set up a Flickr account with "before" photos of our new house! It's time for me to have my morning coffee now! Catch ya later!
So. I would imagine some of you are wondering what's been happening with the house. Well . . . everything's good! I've been leery of posting anything for fear of messing up the good vibes or ju-ju or whatever that's been happening with this house. The appraisal was done last Thursday and the inspection on Friday. We received both reports by Monday. The house appraised at $2000 above our purchase price. Yeah! Nothing was noted that we didn't already know and have plans to fix so that was all good. The inspection did point out some things that we will do down the road, such as sheetrock the garage to provide a firewall between the house and the garage. We will also need to get up and cut out vents in the soffits for ventilation in the attic. The inspection did find that the motor in the furnace is not working but the seller agreed to take care of that and also to spray for the carpenter ants that were found living under the sun-room (and he put it in writing too!) But, all in all, everything is good and the contractor has a "go" to begin work! Yeah! The only other paperwork needed is a letter from the contractor to the bank stating that the roof is in good condition (only 6 years old but several of the shingles are not sealed down, a project we will tackle in August or September).
Now the packing begins in earnest. I let my landlord know that I will most definitely be moved out by August 20th. I also offered to post signs, ads, and show the house for her in order to get it sold. (I only asked to be compensated 1% of the selling price. Hey, I'm not that nice that I'd do all that work for free.) We've begun touring the local home improvement stores to see what's available for flooring, fencing, all of that fun stuff. Did you know that there's now a compound that you simply mix with water and pour onto your concrete floor and it will self-level said concrete floor? Too cool! We have an entire basement (ground floor? not sure what to call it as it opens up into the back yard) that is all concrete flooring that will need to be leveled so that we can install flooring without having to build a sub-floor. (Could I possibly use the word floor or derivatives thereof any more in that last sentence? Ha!)
We are doing the happy house dance around here. I can't wait to get to the point where I can get in and start painting! On the down side, I still have not told any family (other than my sister & Mr. Ex) that Mr. Irony and I are making this a joint venture. Yes, go ahead, say it. I'm a CHICKEN! At least my 20-year old niece has somewhat paved the way for me. She announced last week that since none of her girl-friends were able to move out and into an apartment with her just yet (she's been living at home since college got out last May); she is moving in with her boyfriend and a mutual guy friend. Oh my, my, my...the arguments that this little statement brought about. None of that side of the family is happy AT ALL! Except me and possibly my sis. Not that we're happy about it but we're proud of her for standing up for what she wants. My thoughts are that if she lives with boyfriend for a while she will realize that there are plenty more fish in the sea. Call me crazy but I'm kind of at the point where it may be better living together first so that if it doesn't work out you don't have the whole entire mess of divorce to go through. Yep, not politically correct I know but that's me. Anyway, she has my support because the kid needs someone in the family to lean on. (And since she went first I will not be known as the "evil" aunt who is leading her niece down a path of moral-decay for living in sin. Ha!)
Hope everyone had a good 4th of July (or 1st of July for our neighboring Canadians). I'll post more later on today and am hoping to set up a Flickr account with "before" photos of our new house! It's time for me to have my morning coffee now! Catch ya later!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
And Now, Another Episode of House Buying Hell
Last time on "House Buying Hell"...
Sunday saw Mr. Irony and Ms. Realtor going through the house again, making a list of items to go over with the contractor on Monday. Not so much a list of what we'd like done to the home, but rather a list of what might not pass inspection.
Monday brought me another trip to the big city (or rather a suburb thereof). We had a meeting of the minds: Ms. Realtor, Mr. Contractor, Mr. Irony, and yours truly. Everything that had the potential to not pass inspection was looked at, discussed, and a plan of action chosen. It was decided that 8-10 pieces of siding would be replaced as well as the house repainted in a color of our choosing (light yellow! white trim!). Both bathrooms would have the tub surrounds replaced and the walls re-sheetrocked, as well as the downstairs bathroom ceiling replaced (mold prevention due to former major leak). The deck needs some boards replaced as well as the open railing closed up with a slatted railing. The floor in the sunroom will be replaced as well as concrete footings added to support said sunroom. One outside door will also be replaced as it looks like one good kick would topple it in. Once all of this is completed it should pass inspection. The only questionable item was if we would need to install sheetrock (for a firewall) on the garage side of the wall that divides the house and the garage. The contractor thought that based on the age of this house (built in the early eighties) it would not be required as that was not a must at the time of construction.
So. Now it gets interesting. Mr. Contractor and Ms. Realtor were scheming, err, I mean discussing, the best ways to convince Mr. Seller (Mr. Contractor's uncle) that this was all well and good and that we weren't deadbeats planning to repair the house and run; but rather, a soon to be family that really wants to be in this suburb and really really wants this exact house. Then they moved on to which inspector they wanted to do the inspection and the exact appraiser they wanted to use for the appraisal. Mr. Irony and I are starting to figure out that we lucked out with our mortgage broker, our realtor, and the contractor. Apparently these three are part of the "inner circle" of real estate in this suburb and can exert considerable influence among others in their sphere. Case in point? Not only did they convince Mr. Seller yesterday to sign our original purchase agreement,
We get to meet with the inspector afterwards to go over what needs to be done to pass final inspection prior to closing. With the initial inspection finished, Mr. Contractor will start next week with replacing the siding and working on the deck and sunroom. He plans to start the bathrooms towards the middle of July in order to be finished by August for a closing date of August 4th! Woohoo! Not that I'm not getting my hopes up that we will actually close on that date, but it should be somewhere right around that time.
Following all of this drama and power-weilding by Ms. Realtor and Mr. Contractor, Mr. Irony took ourselves off for a celebratory Chinese lunch . We then took a stroll through the local building supply store; daydreaming of light fixtures, landscaping supplies, hard wood floors, and paint. I'm not sure if I scared or amused Mr. Irony with the number of paint samples I took home with me! It's such a relief to have gotten this far in the house buying process. I was seriously beginning to think it wasn't going to happen any time soon.
Stay tuned for the next episode of "House Buying Hell" in which CelticBuffy informs family members that she and Mr. Irony are going to be living together with no intentions of marrying. I'm sure much drama will ensue (or possibly be ignored as that is what my mother is apt to do).
- Mr. Seller was unreasonable in his demands for the purchase agreement.
- Mr. Irony and CelticBuffy were dismayed, wondering if they could work things out with Mr. Seller.
- Ms. Realtor was trying desperately to negotiate a deal.
- Will Mr. Seller sell?
- Will CelticBuffy and Mr. Irony have to start over on the house hunt?
- Will Ms. Realtor come to the rescue and save the deal?
Sunday saw Mr. Irony and Ms. Realtor going through the house again, making a list of items to go over with the contractor on Monday. Not so much a list of what we'd like done to the home, but rather a list of what might not pass inspection.
Monday brought me another trip to the big city (or rather a suburb thereof). We had a meeting of the minds: Ms. Realtor, Mr. Contractor, Mr. Irony, and yours truly. Everything that had the potential to not pass inspection was looked at, discussed, and a plan of action chosen. It was decided that 8-10 pieces of siding would be replaced as well as the house repainted in a color of our choosing (light yellow! white trim!). Both bathrooms would have the tub surrounds replaced and the walls re-sheetrocked, as well as the downstairs bathroom ceiling replaced (mold prevention due to former major leak). The deck needs some boards replaced as well as the open railing closed up with a slatted railing. The floor in the sunroom will be replaced as well as concrete footings added to support said sunroom. One outside door will also be replaced as it looks like one good kick would topple it in. Once all of this is completed it should pass inspection. The only questionable item was if we would need to install sheetrock (for a firewall) on the garage side of the wall that divides the house and the garage. The contractor thought that based on the age of this house (built in the early eighties) it would not be required as that was not a must at the time of construction.
So. Now it gets interesting. Mr. Contractor and Ms. Realtor were scheming, err, I mean discussing, the best ways to convince Mr. Seller (Mr. Contractor's uncle) that this was all well and good and that we weren't deadbeats planning to repair the house and run; but rather, a soon to be family that really wants to be in this suburb and really really wants this exact house. Then they moved on to which inspector they wanted to do the inspection and the exact appraiser they wanted to use for the appraisal. Mr. Irony and I are starting to figure out that we lucked out with our mortgage broker, our realtor, and the contractor. Apparently these three are part of the "inner circle" of real estate in this suburb and can exert considerable influence among others in their sphere. Case in point? Not only did they convince Mr. Seller yesterday to sign our original purchase agreement,
- Mr. Seller is covering the cost of repairing the flooring of the deck, the flooring of the sunroom and the concrete footings underneath! But, now, get this . . .
- they also got the housing inspector of their choice to jump right in and do the first inspection on. . . wait for it . . . (drum roll please). . . Friday the 4th of July! I mean, WOW!, who the heck does a housing inspection on a major holiday!?!? (Vanessa wanted to know if he's from Canada, LOL!) So we are getting our initial inspection done this Friday!
We get to meet with the inspector afterwards to go over what needs to be done to pass final inspection prior to closing. With the initial inspection finished, Mr. Contractor will start next week with replacing the siding and working on the deck and sunroom. He plans to start the bathrooms towards the middle of July in order to be finished by August for a closing date of August 4th! Woohoo! Not that I'm not getting my hopes up that we will actually close on that date, but it should be somewhere right around that time.
Following all of this drama and power-weilding by Ms. Realtor and Mr. Contractor, Mr. Irony took ourselves off for a celebratory Chinese lunch . We then took a stroll through the local building supply store; daydreaming of light fixtures, landscaping supplies, hard wood floors, and paint. I'm not sure if I scared or amused Mr. Irony with the number of paint samples I took home with me! It's such a relief to have gotten this far in the house buying process. I was seriously beginning to think it wasn't going to happen any time soon.
Stay tuned for the next episode of "House Buying Hell" in which CelticBuffy informs family members that she and Mr. Irony are going to be living together with no intentions of marrying. I'm sure much drama will ensue (or possibly be ignored as that is what my mother is apt to do).
Sunday, June 29, 2008
House Buying Hell
After weeks of inundating you, my lovely readers, to the ups and downs of our housing search, I apologize for being so quiet on the subject over the last couple of weeks. I left off with this post and have been waiting (not so) patiently to see what would happen with House #3.
The contractor was able to look at the house last weekend and gave us an estimate of $17000 to replace the current siding with vinyl siding and redo both bathrooms. The bathrooms need more work than we originally thought. We had (incorrectly) assumed that just the tub surrounds needed replacing along with the ceiling finished in the downstairs bathroom. Apparently the leaks had spread a bit further and all of the sheetrock in both bathrooms needs replacing. Alrightly then.
This estimate puts the house over our budget, with some repairs still needing to be done on the deck in order to pass inspection. The contractor did state that we could get by with simply replacing the couple areas of bad siding with new pieces and then scraping, priming, and painting the existing siding. For the most part, the siding is in good condition, it just doesn't look like it. When it has been previously painted no one ever took the time to prime the siding before painting, thus contributing to the ever-peeling paint. If we take this option, the price falls back within our budget. This contractor can supposedly get the work done by the end of July (which I take to mean he will really have it finished mid-to-late August. No offense contractors out there, but previous experience has led me to believe that very rarely are any contracting jobs finished on time). The repairs to the deck we should be able to do ourselves. There are a few boards that need replacing and, because of the height of the deck, the railings need to be redone. Right now they are open railings (and not very sturdy ones) with nothing between the railing and the deck. That area needs to be secured with either a slatted railing or lattice-work to ensure than no one can fall from under the railing. I can do that. Great, problems solved. Let's move ahead.
Mr. Irony and I want to get the purchase agreement signed and lock up this house. Mr. Seller, however, is now backpedaling. He seems to think that we are going to commission these repairs, let the contractor finish, and then back out of the deal sticking him with the repair bills. So he would like us to put down a sizable deposit, plus extra money into an escrow account which he would get to keep if we back out. Hello! WTH?!?! I don't know if he just doesn't get it that ANYONE he sells this house to (other than a real estate "flipper") is going to have to have these repairs done prior to closing, or the house won't pass inspection and the mortgage will not go through! I know the house was a rental but why weren't things taken care of before it got to this point?
We want this house. Once we have the basement finished it will be quite roomy with around 2500 square feet (much more than we ever thought we'd be able to afford). It is within walking distance of the schools and biking distance from the pool. We have no intentions of backing out on this, especially because we are down to the wire now on finding a home. I really do not want to have to move into Mr. Irony's town home and then move again into our house. This creates all sorts of problems that I'd rather not think about right now.
Mr. Irony and the realtor are going to walk through the home today and list any possible items that may not pass inspection. Following this our realtor is going to talk with Mr. Seller again and try to get him to be a bit more reasonable. Then, hopefully, we will get the initial offer signed and be able to move forward. Every day that Mr. Seller delays us puts us further behind on the repairs.
We never, ever, had any idea that finding a house was going to be this problematic. We both, naively maybe, thought we would look at houses, put in an offer on one or two, close on a home, and move. I never thought that the market in this city would be as "hot" as it is and that we would be competing for homes. I never realized how many "jerky" people there are out there. I am getting extremely frustrated with the whole process. If rent for houses was not so high in this area I would seriously considering giving up for now and just finding a rental. We will not give up, though. Not unless Mr. Seller continues to jerk us around. He wants to sell, he's complaining because he wants this deal done, so I don't understand why he keeps putting up little roadblocks. Considering that the man built this house over twenty years ago, he's going to make a considerable amount of money on this sale. Just sell it to us already!
On a lighter note, apparently the sellers for the last house we offered on irritated most potential buyers with their "we're waiting to compare all offers and choose the highest one" attitude, as the house is still on the market. I guess we weren't the only ones that chose to let our offers expire and not deal with them. Petty of me, I know. But I still think "HAH!"
Stayed tuned for the next episode of "House Buying Hell".
The contractor was able to look at the house last weekend and gave us an estimate of $17000 to replace the current siding with vinyl siding and redo both bathrooms. The bathrooms need more work than we originally thought. We had (incorrectly) assumed that just the tub surrounds needed replacing along with the ceiling finished in the downstairs bathroom. Apparently the leaks had spread a bit further and all of the sheetrock in both bathrooms needs replacing. Alrightly then.
This estimate puts the house over our budget, with some repairs still needing to be done on the deck in order to pass inspection. The contractor did state that we could get by with simply replacing the couple areas of bad siding with new pieces and then scraping, priming, and painting the existing siding. For the most part, the siding is in good condition, it just doesn't look like it. When it has been previously painted no one ever took the time to prime the siding before painting, thus contributing to the ever-peeling paint. If we take this option, the price falls back within our budget. This contractor can supposedly get the work done by the end of July (which I take to mean he will really have it finished mid-to-late August. No offense contractors out there, but previous experience has led me to believe that very rarely are any contracting jobs finished on time). The repairs to the deck we should be able to do ourselves. There are a few boards that need replacing and, because of the height of the deck, the railings need to be redone. Right now they are open railings (and not very sturdy ones) with nothing between the railing and the deck. That area needs to be secured with either a slatted railing or lattice-work to ensure than no one can fall from under the railing. I can do that. Great, problems solved. Let's move ahead.
Mr. Irony and I want to get the purchase agreement signed and lock up this house. Mr. Seller, however, is now backpedaling. He seems to think that we are going to commission these repairs, let the contractor finish, and then back out of the deal sticking him with the repair bills. So he would like us to put down a sizable deposit, plus extra money into an escrow account which he would get to keep if we back out. Hello! WTH?!?! I don't know if he just doesn't get it that ANYONE he sells this house to (other than a real estate "flipper") is going to have to have these repairs done prior to closing, or the house won't pass inspection and the mortgage will not go through! I know the house was a rental but why weren't things taken care of before it got to this point?
We want this house. Once we have the basement finished it will be quite roomy with around 2500 square feet (much more than we ever thought we'd be able to afford). It is within walking distance of the schools and biking distance from the pool. We have no intentions of backing out on this, especially because we are down to the wire now on finding a home. I really do not want to have to move into Mr. Irony's town home and then move again into our house. This creates all sorts of problems that I'd rather not think about right now.
Mr. Irony and the realtor are going to walk through the home today and list any possible items that may not pass inspection. Following this our realtor is going to talk with Mr. Seller again and try to get him to be a bit more reasonable. Then, hopefully, we will get the initial offer signed and be able to move forward. Every day that Mr. Seller delays us puts us further behind on the repairs.
We never, ever, had any idea that finding a house was going to be this problematic. We both, naively maybe, thought we would look at houses, put in an offer on one or two, close on a home, and move. I never thought that the market in this city would be as "hot" as it is and that we would be competing for homes. I never realized how many "jerky" people there are out there. I am getting extremely frustrated with the whole process. If rent for houses was not so high in this area I would seriously considering giving up for now and just finding a rental. We will not give up, though. Not unless Mr. Seller continues to jerk us around. He wants to sell, he's complaining because he wants this deal done, so I don't understand why he keeps putting up little roadblocks. Considering that the man built this house over twenty years ago, he's going to make a considerable amount of money on this sale. Just sell it to us already!
On a lighter note, apparently the sellers for the last house we offered on irritated most potential buyers with their "we're waiting to compare all offers and choose the highest one" attitude, as the house is still on the market. I guess we weren't the only ones that chose to let our offers expire and not deal with them. Petty of me, I know. But I still think "HAH!"
Stayed tuned for the next episode of "House Buying Hell".
Friday, June 27, 2008
The Big Read 100 List
The following list was reprinted from Christina's blog. I've recently become a member of GoodReads and thought this list was interesting. How many have you read?
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top
100 books they’ve printed.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own journal.
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible (I've read some)
7.
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29.
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73.The
74. Notes From A
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Thank You, Thank You!
My heart is still singing! I don't have to let the kids go! I know it is rather selfish of me, but I'm not apologizing. I was so scared and worried about sending them into a situation I knew nothing about in a home I'd never visited with a woman I'd only met twice for about 10 minutes each visit. I am so thankful right now I could cry out of happiness. The hard part is that I can't tell anyone just yet as Mr. Ex wants to tell all of the children himself when they can all be on the phone together. This afternoon when we go visit family will be hard as everyone will be getting ready to tell them goodbye and I will know that they're not leaving! Actress is visiting her aunt this weekend and won't be home until later today so my lips must remain sealed until then.
I did tell my mom yesterday. I know that this has been eating at her almost as much as it has been me. I don't think it's going to far to say that she hates Mr. Ex and the idea of her grandchildren being that far away with this man and an unknown woman was bothering her quite extensively. The only thing she said to me was to caution me that he may want to move in with us. My response? Amazement and laughter that she would even think it. Yes, Mr. Ex and I get along just fine but I'm not quite that forgiving. I must remember that she does not yet know Mr. Irony and I are house-shopping together (she still has not acknowledged even meeting him!).
Mr. Ex's sister called yesterday on the behalf of Mr. Ex to let me know that it was nothing I did, but rather, the relationship has been falling apart for a while now. Apparently there were all sorts of issues, not that it's any of my business. Mr. Ex will be living with his sister and her family until he gets back on his feet. She also wanted me to know that the kids are welcome there with him anytime and that she and her family are looking forward to the kids being there quite often. I hope this goes well. We'll see. Mr. Ex's family lives for drama so the only guarantee is that nothing ever goes smoothly with them. Oh, the stories I could write about my life with them!
I hope, once we get moved, that we can adjust somewhat smoothly into the new visitation arrangements. I hope that this will be best for the kids and that Mr. Ex can get himself back on track and figure out where he wants to go in life. I hope he figures out that money does not make for self-fulfillment and happiness. I truly want him to become a better dad to his children. I want him to find someone that he can live happily and comfortably with as his partner. (That certainly isn't me!). I just want whomever he finds down the road to be someone whom I can get along with and feel friendly toward.
I'm not extremely religious. Mr. Ex's family is, (I used to be) and they would say this is part of God's plan to bring his prodigal son back into the fold. Whether or not that's true, whether or not it was karma, I don't know, some of both perhaps? I do find it interesting that this glorious news came on the summer solstice. Coincidence? I'm certainly not the one to say. I'm just thankful for the news. Thankful for the burden that was on my heart to be lifted and thrown away. Thankful that I can now share my babies with their dad rather than be torn from them.
Thanks to all of you for your support when I believed them to be leaving me for six weeks. Thanks to all of your well wishes now that they're staying put. Thanks to all of you for reading my sometimes rambling posts! Thanks for the sense of community that you give me!
Happy Sunday ya'll! Let's go enjoy the day!
I did tell my mom yesterday. I know that this has been eating at her almost as much as it has been me. I don't think it's going to far to say that she hates Mr. Ex and the idea of her grandchildren being that far away with this man and an unknown woman was bothering her quite extensively. The only thing she said to me was to caution me that he may want to move in with us. My response? Amazement and laughter that she would even think it. Yes, Mr. Ex and I get along just fine but I'm not quite that forgiving. I must remember that she does not yet know Mr. Irony and I are house-shopping together (she still has not acknowledged even meeting him!).
Mr. Ex's sister called yesterday on the behalf of Mr. Ex to let me know that it was nothing I did, but rather, the relationship has been falling apart for a while now. Apparently there were all sorts of issues, not that it's any of my business. Mr. Ex will be living with his sister and her family until he gets back on his feet. She also wanted me to know that the kids are welcome there with him anytime and that she and her family are looking forward to the kids being there quite often. I hope this goes well. We'll see. Mr. Ex's family lives for drama so the only guarantee is that nothing ever goes smoothly with them. Oh, the stories I could write about my life with them!
I hope, once we get moved, that we can adjust somewhat smoothly into the new visitation arrangements. I hope that this will be best for the kids and that Mr. Ex can get himself back on track and figure out where he wants to go in life. I hope he figures out that money does not make for self-fulfillment and happiness. I truly want him to become a better dad to his children. I want him to find someone that he can live happily and comfortably with as his partner. (That certainly isn't me!). I just want whomever he finds down the road to be someone whom I can get along with and feel friendly toward.
I'm not extremely religious. Mr. Ex's family is, (I used to be) and they would say this is part of God's plan to bring his prodigal son back into the fold. Whether or not that's true, whether or not it was karma, I don't know, some of both perhaps? I do find it interesting that this glorious news came on the summer solstice. Coincidence? I'm certainly not the one to say. I'm just thankful for the news. Thankful for the burden that was on my heart to be lifted and thrown away. Thankful that I can now share my babies with their dad rather than be torn from them.
Thanks to all of you for your support when I believed them to be leaving me for six weeks. Thanks to all of your well wishes now that they're staying put. Thanks to all of you for reading my sometimes rambling posts! Thanks for the sense of community that you give me!
Happy Sunday ya'll! Let's go enjoy the day!
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