Interview Me!

You may have seen a new sort of meme floating around the blogosphere lately; the interview post. I, happily, received my interview questions from my favorite Brit blogger, LizSara.

The rules are as follows:

Link back to the person you received the interview from.

If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (And your e-mail address, please.)

I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My questions from LizSara are:

1) Do you think it's easier or harder to be an anonymous blogger and is there any reason you could think of to make you 'come out' on your blog? I find it hard being anonymous because I have to watch that I don't make any references to places or things that could reveal me. I can't share this part of my life with real life friends (although I have with a couple that I really trust). I can't share pictures of my life or refer to my writing around real life people. If you knew me it would be easy to connect the dots and figure out my identity, which is why I also worry about recriminations if certain people from my past were to stumble across my blog.

I'd like to think that I would reveal my identity if one of the people from my "past life" figured it out. I might also consider "coming out" if I were to have a huge following and be offered a book deal. Hey, I can dream right?! There's another Jen Lancaster out there somewhere! Why not me? ;)

2) Would you rather be where you are now having gone through hardships or have had an easy life but be unhappy in it? I'll definitely take where I am now with all of the roller coaster rides. I've lived in some neat places, met some cool people, and had more experiences than some people get in a life time!

3) What's your idea of the perfect getaway, where and why? The perfect getaway would include sunshine, warm ocean water, and quite possibly some ancient ruins to explore.

4) Name your best recipe Ha! Me, cook?! Okay, seriously, my best recipe is for scalloped corn. Take one can of corn, one can of creamed corn, add 4 tablespoons of flour, 3 to 4 tablespoons of milk, 2? teaspoons of baking powder, one egg (yolk and white beaten separately before adding), and pepper to taste. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes to an hour. Of course, it's been well over a year since I made it and I currently can find the recipe!

5) If you had to give up blogging or give up reading other people's blogs which would you choose? That's tough. If I could still write (just not publish) I would choose to give up blogging. I love to read every one's posts in the morning with a cup of tea or coffee. It makes me feel connected to the world in some odd way.


So who's next?

Change

I deemed 2008 to be my year of change in my life. I certainly made several changes through out the year:

~quit my secure school based job

~moved to a new town

~entered into a new living situation with Mr. Irony

~took a job in health care (at a much lower rate of pay)

~legally changed back to my maiden name

~left behind some people in my life that just weren't good for me, psychically or spiritually

Lots of outward changes, yes, but I've been realizing that there weren't a lot of inward changes. I'm still afraid to speak my mind. I still run from confrontation. There is still so much negativity running through my brain. I still am running through life mainly on auto pilot because it takes too much to actually have to deal with anyone or anything. I still lack motivation to get things accomplished. I am still "The Procrastinator".

Somewhere along the way I've built up this burden of bitterness and the main target has been Mr. Ex. I know for my sake that I need to find a way to let it all go. I think I've accepted the fact that I stayed with him for those last years out of guilt and fear, brainwashed into thinking that he would take the kids if I tried to leave. I also didn't want to admit defeat. I was in love with the idea of what I wanted our marriage to be, but not actually loving the man I was married to. As I look back over our life together now I can see what a naive fool I was and how many ways and times I was taken advantage of. Even when his own family would point out how little he cared for us I refused to admit it. Part of the bitterness is that most of that same family has now welcomed him back with open arms because "he came back to be near and raise his kids". (Excuse me while I go gag). He spends two weekends per month with the kids. He did coach in the fall for Action's team but now hasn't set foot around for wrestling season. He keeps choosing women who don't seem to want our kids around.

See, I don't want to do this. I see all of that bitterness spilling out in the previous paragraph. I know that I need to just accept him for who he is (and isn't) and that he's never going to be the dad that our kids deserve. That doesn't mean he's a bad person, it's just not who I wanted him to be. I need to get over this bitterness towards him and focus on me. Because if I don't, I'm not going to get any motivation back nor be able to move forward. If I can't do that I might as well kiss nursing school goodbye because I won't be able to make it through the 18 credits worth of hard classes I have to do just to be able to apply (chemistry II, microbiology, epidemiology, anatomy/physiology, just to name four).

Once again or maybe still, I feel lost, drifting, as if I'm just marking time with no real purpose. And that, I think, is what needs to change in 2009. Finding the change within me. Finding me.

Holiday Tradition

To make the holiday a little brighter I'm spreading around the Xmas cheer, or rather the holiday themed blog posts. Go read a little about a particular family tradition of ours at my friend Bart's blog Crazywhack Shiznit for Your Brizzle. While you're at it, don't forget to wish him, his wife, and new baby girl Merry Christmas!

I'm off now to wrap presents before heading off to the hospital while attempting to not channel Scrooge.

Happy Holidays!

Oh, here's a little something I forgot to add to my post over at Bart's!

An Award and a Meme

Many thanks to LizSara for gifting me with this award! I'm not sure than I'm that deserving of it considering my lack of substantial (or any!) posting lately. Skip on over to visit my favorite Brit Blogger!

Here are the rules for this award: Pick 5 blogs you love and pass this award on to them as I pass it on to you. Don’t forget to link back.

I'm passing this one to 5 times 2 bloggers, one of whom gave it to me (because even though I lurk more than comment, i love to read her blog)! But I'm giving the award with a price . . . read on . . .




In other news, hold on to your hats folks! Diane over at the Mommy Diaries tagged me for this meme:

1) Take a picture of yourself right NOW!

2) DON'T change your clothes, DON'T fix your hair... Just take a picture.

3) Post that picture with NO editing.

4) Post these instruction with your picture.

5)Tag 10 people to do this..

so you're going to get a glimpse of CelticBuffy, live and in person! (drum roll please . . .)




















Yes, this is me, scrubs and all, just home from a shift at the hospital. Oh so lovely and tre chic! Green is a Christmas color so at least I fit with the season. LOL.




Not only do I tag these lovely bloggers, I'm also passing along the above award to them also (with an extra one going to Diane):

*Vanessa

*ModernGal

*Chele

*Emily

*Noodle

*Nichole

*Shania

*LizSara

*Bohemian Single Mom

*Juice Notlaw

*If you're reading this consider yourself tagged and post a link in the comments so that I can see you too! If you blog anonymously, like I do, be more creative than me in taking a photo while disguising yourself! Have fun! :)

Bah Humbug

The title says it all folks. That's how I've been feeling the last few weeks. I've not been posting because I feel down and what I would write would be negative, whiny, and depressing. Not to mention bitchy.

I need to break through this fog so that I can write again and at least be mildly entertaining. So, don't worry, I'm still here, still reading other blogs, and trying to sleep my way through December.

Creativity? What's That?

Well hello there! I'm somewhat surprised that you're still here, even though I haven't been around much for the past month. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

The new job is going well. It's crazy, exhausting, busy, demanding, and challenging but, wow, am I learning a lot! Talk about great preparation for nursing school! The physical activity of this job is seriously kicking my butt. My body feels like I've been beaten when I wake every morning. Perhaps a new mattress would help?

Anyway, I do like the job. I don't like the pay. I knew going in how much of a pay cut I'd be taking and am wondering how crazy I must be to voluntarily slash my income like this. Granted I'm paying for health insurance and that cuts some of the take home pay. I wonder, though, how finances are going to go over the next couple of years, especially with the mounting medical bills.

As for Anime, a rheumatologist in our area has accepted her as a patient. The downside is that we can't get in until April. The initial appointment is not one that can be easily scheduled as I've been informed that we can expect to be there for most of the day (appointment time is 8 AM). I'm still looking into rheumatologists outside of our area.

I feel as if my creativity has abandoned be as of late. My desire to write, or even dream, has fled for the time being. If you see it, send it back my way would you please?

Anime and the Vampire's Latest Results

As many of you know, Anime has been having health problems for over a year now. You can read about it here and here and even here. Her orthopedist, after determining that her knee is just fine, felt that further investigation was needed into why she has constant pain, why she's always so tired, and why minor infections knock her out health-wise. Much blood was again sacrificed to the vampires of the lab for spinning and culturing and whatever else it is they do for blood work. The results? Due to some items that showed up in her blood (in large concentrations) the thinking is now that she may have lupus or possibly rheumatoid arthritis, or something along the lines of an autoimmune disease.

A couple of rheumatology offices in our area flat out refused to see her because they don't take patients under the age of 16. What!? She'll be sixteen is a year! Another of the offices said to fax over her labs and they would review them before making the decision of whether or not to see her. If they don't we will be forced to drive 3 1/2 to 4 hours away to find a pediatric rheumatologist. No matter who sees her she will have to undergo more testing to determine what it is that's ailing her.

While I feel relieved that someone believes me when I say that something is wrong with her, I'm also tremendously worried and scared that something is really wrong with her! Of course I scurried home to research lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and various other autoimmune diseases that one would need a rheumatologist for. It knocked me silly to see that she hit almost all of the symptoms for lupus other than a couple that I don't know because she hasn't had those tests run yet. I'm not a doctor and I'm not diagnosing her but this is what the referring doctor thought might be the problem, and after reading what I've read, I'd have to side with him because so much of it fits. And that scares me. No matter what it is, it scares me. My baby, my first born that is so like me, more than likely has some disease that she will have to deal with for the rest of her life.

She's not scared. Too her it's just one more doctor we will have to go see and, KEWL! she will probably get to miss school to go for the appointment. She's like it to be in one of the cities farther away so that we could go shopping (oy! teenage girls!)

I hope that I am over-reacting to all of this, I really do. I want a healthy life for her. But my gut tells me that there's something wrong, a healthy teenager wouldn't be feeling the way she does, wouldn't have constant leg pain, be tired after sleeping for 12 - 14 hours at a time, run unexplained fevers, be scarily pale, have rashes that come and go, chest pain and trouble breathing when the chest X-ray shoes no pneumonia or bronchitis.

Keep your fingers crossed and send good vibes this way please, that we can get in to see the doctor here in town. Hope that we can get a definitive diagnosis when we do see someone so that she can start on some course of treatment and maybe she will start to feel more like a regular teen.

Flying By

Where has the time gone?!?!

The days have simply flown by this past week. Of course getting up at 4:30 am every morning and then being so exhausted that I'm ready to go to bed before the kids are, just might have something to do with it. I have worked the day shift this week, meaning I start at 6 AM. Can I just say . . . yuck. I am not a morning person. . . at least not that early of a morning person! On the bright side the job seems to be going well. I am officially out of orientation and will start on my own when my next shift rolls around on Tuesday. Crazily enough, I like it. (Seriously, I never thought I'd like a job that requires me to wipe the behinds of people other than my babies.)

I got off my butt this week and sent in my initial application for college, leaving the actual nursing school apps to be filled in and sent. The initial application is for the prerequisites that I need to take during spring semester. I must be a glutten for punishment schoolwise as I already have a bachelor's degree, and half of a master's degree, and am now heading back for another bachelor's degree. Or maybe I just want to be paying student loans until I die. Yeah, that must be it. :P

Today was spent painting 1/2 oft the upstairs and rocking out to the radio. The kiddos are off visiting grandparents and I will pick them up tomorrow. Last night I enjoyed 7 hours of having the house entirely to myself (unheard of around here!) and watched 8 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and bawled my eyes out while watching the latest episode of Ghost Whisperer. All in all it was quite lovely and refreshing.

I think Mr. Irony is questioning my sanity when he came home to find me dancing around the house, paintbrush in hand, singing the lyrics to Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. Yo, I am a motherf***ing princess , ok?!

Now I have about 500 some blog posts to catch up on in my reader. What have you been up to?

Bits and Pieces

The last few days have been crazy busy around here. What I'd intended to be a peaceful day on Sunday was a busy day, visiting the cemetery with grandpa, the kids, and my mom, driving out to the old farms, combined with 3 hours of driving there and back. Monday was 9 hours of training for the new job, after which I was completely fried. Tuesday was parent-teacher conferences. I am, unfortunately, one of those parents that likes to touch base with each and every teacher (if possible) so that meant roughly 3 hours at the school(s). We also crammed in winter shopping (still need more mittens!). Yesterday was my first shift on the ward and today I head back in for another 3 hour training session followed by 7 hours on the ward.

I tried something new this morning. In an attempt to prevent a sinus infection I brought out a purchase from a while ago and actually used my neti pot. It's quite an odd feeling, having water run through your nostrils. I'm not sure how well it worked but it did show me that my nasal passages are getting blocked (yes, too much information). I'll use it consistently over the next few days and see how well it works to clear out the sinuses.

On the fun side I finally got my hands on a Wii Fit! Woohoo! Action, Actress, and I have all been using it for the past couple of days. I find that I enjoy it more than Pilates and I do actually work up a sweat. My favorites so far are the yoga and the balance activities. This morning I had the bright ( ha! pun coming) idea to use the Wii Fit in conjunction with my time under my sun light. (bright = sun LOL. I know, pretty lame). I was much less crabby when I was finished with both. Although the crabbiness stems from only having roughly 5 1/2 hours of sleep last night.

Hope you enjoy your day!

Two Days Too Much

Full days.

Too much at once.

Needed by those close.

Overwhelmed

Brain is fried.

Body is tired.

Sleep is beckoning.

My Own Dia De Los Muertos

Did you know that Dia De Los Muertos officially runs both November 1st and 2nd? How fitting for my needs today. Today is the day that my beloved grandmother was born onto this earth. She has been gone for three birthdays now and I have tried to visit my grandfather on this day each year (I didn't make it last year). The date of her birth and the date of her death are burned into my brain and the years inked onto my body. On this day I have felt a need to be at her home and at her grave. How fitting it is, then, that the Day of the Dead extends into this day also?

So that is where I'll be today. The kids and I are making the trek to the home of my grandfather and from there I will make my way alone to her place of burial. Today is a bright beautiful autumn day, which makes it all that more peaceful for me.

A Day Late

If I was truly aspiring to NaBloPoMo I would be disqualified as it is now 12:08 am on November 2nd. This morning I had no inspiration for blogging and this evening it was extremely late before I could get to it.

I have started a new blog for my journey through Soul Coaching. If you're interested you will find a way to find it. I feel it is a bit more personal than Serving Up Life and thus am leaving it off of this blog.

Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!